Is there a point, to hate yourself?
Is there a line you gotta cross?
Is there a better time, to hate yourself,
is it already dawn, or I'm still sleeping?
After two buses, two loaves of bread,
three planks by the stairwell,
a lot of smoke, and coffe yet,
Is there any sense left at all?
Was there I standing, early in the morning,
waiting for the bus, chilling outside?
Was thereanyone else, standing beside me,
other than my packs of killing machines,
straw killing machines, and a lighter,
was thereanyone else beside me?
Here I am, sitting etternally, waiting, waiting,
for something to burn, crash and burn,
waiting for the deadline to happen
waiting for the doctor's appointment.
No doctor, they didn't work.
No, they did nothing else than to soothe
the previous pain of the other one's abstinence.
No doctor, they don't work.
No doctor, they won't work
What will the good ol' doc say to me?
"Go away, if they did not work"
Will they deprive me of my chemicals?
My sleeping pills? I can't damn sleep without them
no more, end even less and less, everyday, everynight.
Doctor, the way I see it, it is my own fault,
to be what I am, being not what I indeed am,
Doctor, they don't work, for almost nothing at all
No doctor, I don't think they did.
The doctor will look at my charts
say something about the nonsensical numbers there,
mumble-jumbo about chemical doses,
increase the dose! double the impotence!
Decrease my life, my diminishing life,
decrease my dreams, for they are already crushed,
and tossed away, along with cigarrette butts,
in the trashcan of my life.
Empty recycle bin? (Y/N)
Empty the rest of what's left?
Empty the trash, throw it away,
let go, let go, do something else instead.
just let it go.
Doctor, prescribe something else,
prescribe me sex and drugs, and nothing else,
prescribe to live, while I feel I'm dying,
prescribe the life I always wanted to live.
But the goold ol' serious doctor will look,
and I presume that he'll say
"let us double the dose instead."
Double, triple, quadruple, I don't care
nothing will work - I'm quite sure
nothing will solve me from the Monster
I saw shaving his face this morning
while the whole city slept,
I was out there looking for the sun,
hidden pieces of the sun,
hidden along the grass,
hidden amongst the trash.
Look at me, here I am, I am nothing at all,
no matter what dose I take, I am still nothing at all
I am me. I am flawed. I am tired and sore,
of being this Thing, this dreadful Thing,
rising earlier than the sun, coming here long before all,
to stare at monitors all day long
to dee different things, butthey're all the same,
spiders, fire, dogs, cats, cops, marines, UN, I don't care.
Empty Recycle Bin (Y/N)
Y.
