Insomnia pt II

Look at how colorful that rusty hinger sound is! Oh so beautifulzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............

Insomnia.

>be me
>suddenly awoken since 2 AM
>fuck_this_shit.jpg
>take half rivotril
>no good
>be awake since 2.
>go on about your day
>there's a free spot on the Doctor Miracle Worker
>sure I'll go
>now 4 AM, still awake like a fucking owl
>fuck_this_shit.jpg
>staying up, doesn't really matter no more.

Always Look On The Bright Side of..of...wat?

Enough tension for a week, I'd say. Too much stress, too much letdowns, a riddance, let's move on to lighter subjects - or at least I think so - answering another set of questions. From what I could see, these are less idiotic than those 800 dumbest questions ever.

? What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?


The same lie - "You are handsome." as always.

? What’s one thing you’re deeply proud of — but would never put on your résumé?

Nothing embarassing, really. I had a great gig some years ago, by 2005 I believe, at a restaurant, played some songs with my sister. But that night, somehow I've became the guitar itself. Never played so good. It was the best gig I've ever done. Not a thing to put on résumés, indeed.

? What’s the most out-of-character choice you’ve ever made?

Well, dancing that shitty thing they call "forró" is one, definitely. What a fucking waste of time and what an embarassment it was.

? If a mysterious benefactor wrote you a check for $5,000 and said, “Help me solve a problem — any problem!” … what would you do with him or her?

I'd ask, "And what is the problem, exactly?"

? What’s going to be carved on your (hypothetical) tombstone?

Here Lies A Person Who Lived Alone, And Died Alone.

? What are you FREAKISHLY good at?

Nothing, really. Unless you can count sleeping, smoking, eating as talents. I'm fucking good at sleeping - with my pills, of course. And I smoke damn well too, even though I can't seem to figure how the fuck they blow smoke rings. I'd love to be able to do that, even though it's rather foolish.

? What’s one dream that you’ve tucked away, for the moment? How come?

Find a freak like me to share a life.

? What are you STARVING for?

Er...er....sex?

? If you could have tea with one fictional character, who would it be?

Gandalf. He'd have a lot of stories to tell.

? Do you have a morning ritual?

Coffee and fags(note: you people realize that a "fag", in british english is a cigarrette, don't you?)

? Do you believe in magic? When have you felt it?

No, I don't believe in magic. The closest thing to that I believe is imagination.

? Is there something that people consistently ask for your advice on? What is it?

Well, my sisters asked me a lot about depression, since I'm a fucking expert on the fucking subject.

? Have you ever fantasized about changing your first name? To what?

Blah. Names are just names. I'm just glad I don't got a ridiculous one, like our "malacos" give their sons....Erisvaldo, Apoleia, Cheylla. To name a few.

? When was the last time you astonished yourself?

At my birthday. I was happy, truly happy. That's the rarest thing to feel. To me, at least.

? What’s your personal anthem or theme song?

The "Game Of Thrones" intro song, for one. There are others.

? Do you ever yearn for your life, before Facebook?

What the fuck? I don't even have a profile anymore on that piece of shit thing, one of the most fucking stupid time-waster ever invented. Not only that, it helps spread hate, false rumours and whatnot. Facebook should be banned from existence. Seriously.

? What’s your definition of an ideal houseguest?

One who helps cleanin the tables, making his/her bed, offers to help around, who is polite and know how to respect the privacy of their hosts.

? If you had an extra $100 to spend on yourself every week, what would you do?

If you're talking USA Dollars, I'd...I'd....I'd buy something for myself each week, or invest in my own groceries and supplies, like buying coffee, bread, and whatnot.

? If you could sit down with your 15-year old self, what would you tell him or her?

"Listen here, bonehead. DO NOT pick fucking Biology as a major. Pick Medicine, you'll pass."

? What are you BORED of?

People! What a bunch of bastards!

? What’s the best birthday cake you ever ate?

Some fancy white chocolate cake at a friend's sister birthday party, years ago.

? How do you engage with panhandlers on the street?

Eh? I just tell them to fuck off.

? Do you think LOVE is chemical, intellectual, spiritual — or completely undefinable?

No. I think it doesn't exist.

? Have you ever dreamed about starting a business? (Or if you’ve already got one — a new business?)

My dreamjob - a tattoo studio of my own.

? Are you afraid of flying in airplanes? (How come?)

Yes. Because it's a fucking machine, and if it falls, we're all gonna die. Simple as that.

? What’s your most urgent priority for the rest of the year?

Settle my debts.

? If you could master any instrument on earth, what would it be?

Jimi Hendrix, motherfucker! Ever heard of him? I'd love to have at least 30% of his talent.

? Have you ever been genuinely afraid for your physical safety?

Yes, inside speeding cars.

? What are you an expert on? Is it because of training, lived experience, or both?

Nothing.

? Has a teacher ever changed your life? How so?

No...not really, no.

? Are there any household chores you secretly enjoy? Which ones — and why?

Enjoy household chores? Are you mental??

? How do you reign in self-critical voices?

I can't. They're always at the wheel.

? If you could custom blend a perfume or cologne, what would it include?

Who the fuck do you think I am, Walter White? I know nothing about chemistry!

? What does FEAR feel like, in your body?

Being alive.

? Do you think you’re currently operating at 100% capacity?

Nope. Close to 5%. Maybe 4.5%

? What do you value most: free time, recognition, or money?

Free time...with money. Eheheheheheheh.

? If you could save one endangered species from extinction, which would you choose?

Tigers, because they are awesome.

? Are there any laws or social rules that completely baffle you?

Quite a lot, actually. Just go to church. That shit I can't wrap around my head. Specially our brazilia "protestant" churches, with teir 171 practices.

? Would you like to write a book? (About what?)

I've got two on the works, but I'm afraid I won't ever finish them. It's fantasy, involving dragons, of course.

? If you could choose your own life obstacles, would you keep the ones you have?

No. Fucking. WAY.

? Have you ever SCREAMED at someone? (What did they do?)

Yes, I had. We were having an argument. What the hell, have you never screamed at an argument?

? Do you think there’s going to be an anti-technology whiplash, in our lifetime?

I seriously hope not.

? Where + when do you get your BEST IDEAS?

Er...never?

? Have you ever met one of your HEROES?

None that I can think of.

? What’s in your fridge, right this moment?

Barrels of toxic waste. What do you expect, idiot? FUCKING FOOD.

? Can you tell when someone is LYING?

Not really.

? Can you tell when someone is telling the TRUTH?

Same thing. I'm no good at reading people's behaviours. That's why they suck.

? Have you ever pushed your body further than you dreamed possible?

Pushed my body? Wat?

? Are you living your LIFE PURPOSE — or still searching?

I'm searching...but I doubt I'll ever find it.

? Have you ever had to make a public apology? (How come?)


I was dragging this drunken friend of mine and she kept on pestering everyone we passed by, so I apologized for her state. That's the closest thing I can think of.

? What’s the WORST piece of advice you’ve ever been given?

"You should not invest in drawing, because you will earn no money." Well, that turned out to be true, actually. But it kinda shattered the dreams of an eight year-old boy.

? Do you think we’re designed for monogamy? (Why or why not?)

"Designed"? This kinda question reminds me of fucking Bio. Not optimally, no. The ideal, from a biological point of view was to spread the genes around, with many partners, to enhance the chances of survival.

But, as a person, I'd rather have just one partner. Pffff.....as if.


? How do you CELEBRATE your victories?

What victories?

? Would you consider yourself an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert?

I'm beyond introvert. WAY beyond.

? Do you ever hunt for answers or omens in dreams?

Nein.

? Do you think everyone has the capacity to be a LEADER?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...oh, I'm dying.

? Is WAR a necessary EVIL?

Well, to be honest, wars like Worl War Two couldn't be helped. You just can't let a madman take over country after coutry and claim is as their own territory, not to mention the whole Jew question. Supreme race, indeed. Bunch of aryan fuckers, those krauts.

? Are YOU a starter, a finisher, or an implementer?

I'm nothing. I serve for absolutely nothing. Take me out of this firm and see if it does make a difference. NOPE. I'm the ghost in the machine.

? Have you ever unplugged from the Internet for more than a week?

Sure, whenever I'd travelled to that paradise named Itacaré. But that ain't happening no more.

? Do you think we should live like we’re dying?

We're ALL dying, idiot. Each day is a step closer to the fucking grave. Now, "live like you're going to die tomorrow" thing is...hmmmm....idiotic, I suppose. Because we just don't know. And we'll never know when we're going to die. So, live life the way you like. Fuck it.

? Do you have any habits or quirks you wish you could ERASE?

Yes. Smoking, for instance.

? What was the most AGONIZING hour of your life?

The hour I stood by watching a friend of mine sleep forcefully through the use of heavy drugs, used on mental patients.  His aunt arrived, and we both sat there, feeling so damn helpless. It was fucking awful.

? Have you ever dramatically changed a habit, or gotten yourself out of a rut? How’d you do it?

Eating too much crappy food and sugar, I guess. I just gave them up.

? Would you rather be a lonely genius, or a sociable idiot?

To be honest, I think the idiots have a better life, so, I'd like to be a fucking idiot but have fun out of life.

? How would YOU fix the economy?

Do I look as a fucking Economy major to you???

? What was your very first JOB?

Same shit I've got today. It just changed here and there, but I was always a fucking pawn, and worse yet, a pawn that's not even on a proper game. Like a pawn on another board game. That's me. Worthless.

? What brings you SHEER DELIGHT?

Oh man, drinking that sweet Irish Coffee I made each morning, when I could still drink.

? Are you highly useful in a CRISIS?

Nope. I panic, easily.

? Do you like to be SAVED — or do the saving?

Neither. I can't be saved, nor save anybody.

? What’s one mistake you keep repeating (and repeating)?

Smoke grass.

? If you were heading out on a ROAD TRIP right this minute, what would you pack?

My Swiss pocket knife. I'm McGyver!

? Do you have any irrational fears?

All of them.

? When you see peers + competitors getting things you want, how do you react?

I get really, really pissed off.

? If you were to die three hours from now, what would you regret most?

This window of time wouldn't allow me to at least try heroin before my death.

? What’s something you’ve tried, that you’ll never, ever try again?

Art School. If you can call that shite art.

? If you could enroll in a PhD program, with your tuition paid in full by a mysterious benefactor, what would you study — and why?

The use of experimental drugs to treat depression, or other brain defects.

? Have you ever had a complete + total nervous breakdown? (How did you recuperate?)

Hell yeah, I've got at least four on my lifetime - two this very own fucking year. I'm under psychiatric treatment, and it seemed to be the right thing...even though I'm not so sure anymore.

? Have you ever set two friends up on a date? (How did it go?)

Never.

? Have you ever questioned your FAITH — or lack thereof?

Yes. Because I don't think there is good and evil entities - they're one and the same. And Hell? Is called Planet Earth.

? What’s your recipe for recuperating from extreme heartbreak?

Do like I do - I've never had one, because i've never had someone to break my heart in the first place.

? Have you ever had a psychic reading? Did you believe it? Was it accurate?

Nope.

? Have you ever (actually) kept a New Year’s Resolution?

Yeah, this very year, I vouched to start excersing again. Took me several months to really get started, but I did get back on the irons.

? Have you ever met someone who was genuinely EVIL?

Hell, yeah! My own brother.

? Do you believe that everyone deserves redemption + forgiveness?

Nope. Not everyone. No.

? What was the BEST KISS of your entire life?

What's that?

? Do you secretly miss Polaroid cameras?

Down here in the jungle called Brazil, we didn't get those cameras.

? Do you have any physical features that you try to cloak or hide? How come?

Well, I gotta hide my tattoos, in order to appear "a normal person"

? What makes YOU so special, anyway? (No, really.)

My self-loathing is rather unique, don't you think?

? What’s in your pocket (or purse, or man-purse) right now?

A lighter.

? Ever fantasize about being in a rock band? What would your group be called?

Sure. We'd be called Unknown Artist, just to fuck up people and their iPods.

? What’s your guiltiest of guilty pleasures?

Nah-ah. I'm not telling. Fuck off.

? Who’s on your panel of imaginary mentors?

Imaginary mentors? Wat?

? Have you ever stolen anything? (Money, candy, hearts, time?)

I've stolen batteries, glue, gum, deodorant, lighters - all last month. It's so easy at 6:00.

? When was the last time you saw an animal in the wild?

Hmmmm....back in 1998, I think. We saw a Lobo-Guará.

? What’s the hardest thing you ever had to write — and why?

The letter of dismissal of someone who was a friend, and turned out not to be. How do you politely tell someone, "I don't want to ever see you again, because you're not a real friend."?

? Who’s the last person that deeply disappointed you? (What happened?)

See question above. That guy was truly a letdown, let me tell you. I've already told all about it on previous posts, so I'm not telling the whole story once again.

? Have you ever won an award? What was it for?

Never.

? How long can you (comfortably) go without checking your emails or texts? How do you feel about that?

Man, I work in front of a fucking computer all day long, then go home to my own computer. I check it all the tima, because I always keep a tab with my email open. And I don't really care.

? What do you deserve + get to receive, no matter what?

I deserve nothing, 'cos I'm fucking no good for nothing.

? What are you ready to set into motion, today?

Get home, workout, sleep. - that's the plan.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, these were a lot less lame than those 800. There you go. Another 100.

The man who turned into...

(Cut to a cafe. All the customers are Vikings. Mr and Mrs Bun enter - downwards (on wires))

Mr Bun:    Morning
Waitress: Morning
Mr Bun: What have you got, then?
Waitress :Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam;
egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam; spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam; or Lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Mrs Bun: Have you got anything without spam in it?
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Mrs Bun: I don't want ANY spam!
Mr Bun:    Why can't she have egg, bacon, spam and sausage?
Mrs Bun: That's got spam in it!
Mr Bun:    Not as much as spam, egg, sausage and spam.
Mrs Bun: Look, could I have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam.
Waitress: Uuuuuuggggh!
Mrs Bun: What d'you mean uuugggh! I don't like spam

Vikings: (singing) Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam ... spam, spam, spam, spam ... lovely spam, wonderful spam ...
(Brief stock shot of a Viking ship.)

Waitress: Shut up. Shut up! Shut up! You can't have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam.
Mrs Bun: Why not!
Waitress: No, it wouldn't be egg, bacon, spam and sausage, would it.
Mrs Bun: I don't like spam!
Mr Bun: Don't make a fuss, dear. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam, spam, spam, spam, spam ...
Vikings: (singing) Spam, spam, spam, spam ...
Mr Bun     ... baked beans, spam, spam and spam.
Waitress: Baked beans are off.
Mr Bun: Well can I have spam instead?
Waitress: You mean spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam?
Vikings: (still singing) Spam, spam, spam, spam ... (etc.)
Mr Bun:    Yes.
Waitress: Arrggh!
Vikings: .. . lovely spam, wonderful, spam.
Waitress: Shut up! Shut up!

    (The Vikings shut up momentarily. Enter the hungarian.)

Hungarian: Great boobies, honeybun, my lower intestine is full of spam, egg, spam, bacon, spam, tomato, spam ...
Vikings: (starting up again) Spam, spam, spam, spam ...
Waitress: Shut up!

    (A policeman rushes in and bundles the Hungarian out.)

Hungarian: My nipples explode...

(Cut to a historian.)
(SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'A HISTORIAN')    
Historian: Another great Viking victory was at the Green Midget cafe at Bromley. Once again the Viking strategy was the same.
They sailed from these fiords here, (indicating a map with arrows on it) assembled at Trondheim and waited for the strong north-easterly
winds to blow their oaken galleys to England whence they sailed on May 23rd. Once in Bromley they assembled in the Green Midget cafe
and spam selecting a spam particular spam item from the spam menu would spam, spam, spam, spam, spam ...

(The backdrop behind him rises to reveal the cafe again, The Vikings start singing again and the historian conducts them)   

Vikings: (singing) Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, lovely spam, wonderful spam. Lovely spam wonderful spam ...
(Mr and Mrs Bun rise slowly in the air)
SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'IN 1970 MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS LAY IN RUINS, AND THEN THE WORDS ON THE SCREEN SAID:'
Fade out and roll credits, which read:

MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS
WAS CONCEIVED, WRITTEN AND SPAM PERFORMED BY
SPAM TERRY JONES
MICHAEL SPAM PALIN
JOHN SPAM JOHN SPAM
JOHN SPAM CLEESE
GRAHAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM CHAPMAN
ERIC SPAM EGG AND
CHIPS IDLE
TERRY SPAM SAUSAGE SPAM
EGG SPAM GILLIAM
ALSO APPEARING ON TOAST
THE FRED TOMLINSON SPAM EGG
CHIPS AND SINGERS
RESEARCH PATRICIA HOULIHAN AND SAUSAGE
MAKEUP PENNY PENNY PENNY AND SPAM NORTON
COSTUMES EGG BAKED BEANS SAUSAGE AND TOMATO, OH, AND
HAZEL PETHIG TOO
ANIMATIONS BY TERRY (EGG ON FACE) GILLIAM
FILM CAMERAMAN JAMES (SPAM SAUSAGE EGG AND TOMATO)
BALFOUR (NOT SUNDAYS)
FILM EDITOR RAY (FRIED SLICE AND GOLDEN THREE DELICIOUS)
MILLICHOPE (SPAM EXTRA)
SOUND CHIPS SAUSAGE LIVERWURST, PHEASANT, SPAM, NEWSAGENTS, CHIPS, AND PETER ROSE
LIGHTING OTIS (SPAM'S OFF DEAR) EDDY
DESIGNER ROBERT ROBERT ROBERT ROBERT BERK AND TOMATO
PRODUCED BY IAN (MIXED GRILL) MACNAUGHTON 7/&D
BBC SPAM TV
SERVICE NOT INCLUDED

...Spam. That's what you are, from now on.

See ya in another life...when we're both cats.

Hard times, hard measures. No, I'm not talking about my state of mind...which seems to be a pendulum, going to hell and heaven, back and forth, to and fro.

I'm talking about the people you sometimes need to let go off your life.

Sometimes, you have to ask, "what am I getting from all of this?" - each friendship is a relationship as well. Ups and downs. Everyone knows that.

But sometimes, it comes a point when you just need to do a sweep. Clean the slate. 

Let them go. Forever.

The person I'm talking about says he doesn't read this shit(with a fucking emphasis on the "SHIT" factor, according to him). Okay. I feel the need to write anyhow.

Yes, we were friends. Good friends. Then 2014 happened. This nightmare of a fucked up piece of shit year. Honestly, it's been one of the worse of my life, if not THE worst.

All that mess I got involved in since March, ended yesterday. a bitter end, I must say.

Because I let it go. No more. I'm not sticking around a person whose sayings go from "All women are worthless; if they weren't, beggars wouldn't have them as well.", and "Women are like fucking mats, you have to step over them; the more you do, the more they'll like you." and shit similar to these.

A person who wouldn't hesitate to cheat on his fiancé. 

But the final drop in the bucket was his homophobia, mixed with some of these sayings - "You are like a woman alright, because you are not rational."

He managed to insult me and women and the same time.

That's not a person I want around me.

No more.

Farewell...and have a good life. But without me as a friend. 

In a scale to normal to Buriol, how fucked up are you?

....wonderful. Just. Fucking. Wonderful.
Next available appointment in a month.
How THE FUCK am I gonna keep this shit together until then?

Fuck this shit. Another coffin nail, please.

Real Time Footage.

I am literally doing this same thing right now:

....but to no avail. Ring-ring, doc. I'm back at square one. What do I do?

WB.

Welcome back, depression, you fucker.
You just can't quit me.

Bah. Humbug.

Yeah. I'm really back to my old curmudgeon self. Fuck you life, God, whoever FUCKER made this possible - to experience some form of "inner peace" for a few weeks then...it's gone. Poof.

So, while I try to restrain myself from making an omelet out of my fucking ugly face, let's see the last batch of those fucking questions.

701) What do your parents do?

My dad's a fucking nut that is currently taking a major on law school - as if someone would be enough of a fool to hire such a "lawyer" - a fucking 76 year old lawyer, fresh out of one of those awful universities, no experience at all. Yeh. That's definitely gonna happen.

My mom graduated in Arts, but never had a chance to use her degree to good use, because when things were jumpstarting for her, she made the WORST decision of her life - marry my fuck of a father. Forced her to give up on everything to keep an eye on him, because, frankly, he's a fucking sex deviant psycho who can't see a piece of ass without jumping the fence...And he's stil the same, at the young, tender age of 74. So she became just this- a housewife. Chores upon chores. I feel sorry and sad for her - because I'm totally dependant on her for such "services", and she's already 60. She can't take it anymore. She shouldn't be cleaning the fucking house. She shouldn't have to cook - she would became a kickass ilustrator, but that - literally- motherfucker of a father ruined her life forever.

702) If you were a giant mega monster what city would you rampage?

All of them.

703) Did you ever have a treehouse as a kid?

Yes.

704) Is your dad an embarassing dancer?

My dad is an embarassing EVERYTHING. Just like me.

705) Do you plan to vote in the next election?

Do I have a choice? No. So, I'll go there, punch random numbers and fuck it all.

706) If you could replace one bodypart with a super bionic replacement what bodypart and what features would the new bionic replacement have?

I don't fancy that much. I just like to replace my defective brain for a normal one.

707) What any unusual objects have you swallowed?

 Toys, mostly, when I was a kid.

708) When you buy something new do you get a desire to use/play with it even when they dont have any physical application yet?

I get this anxiety, yes.

709) Did you understand the Matrix Trilogy?

I understood that they should have stopped at the first movie.

710) Would you rather be the fella in a movie who gets the girl or the baddie with all the good lines?

I'd prefer to be a motherfucker like Samuel L. Jackson on Pulp Fiction.

711) If you were stinking rich, would you only go to places other rich people went?

Nope. I told you before - if I had enough money, I'd pay all the outstanding debts trashing my family, then reform My Tower, put a big-ass TV/Monitor for films and series, I'd soundproof the whole place to have a studio and would mess around the structure to build a proper gym. And I'd go NOWHERE. The whole world can go fuck itself.

712) Would you rather have a mans top half and a womens bottom half or visa versa?

What the actual fuck kind of question is this?? Fuck off.

713) Rebound relationships, good or bad?

Relationships? What are these?

714) Have you ever owned a slinky?

Slinky(google)? Ah yes, I've got a few - all of them ended up tangled beyond hope.

715) Teenage parents, good bad or indifferent?

HA! A teenage parent? Oh, yeah, a person that is "wise" enough to become a teen parent will make an EXCELLENT parent. So wise not to wrap it up his dick, or not take her birth control pills...very, very wise.

716) Whats the most expensive thing you've ever broken?

An iPhone. But it was already so fucked up, I think I just put it out of its misery.

717) Pirate downloads, good or bad?

Are you fucking retarded? I pirate  EVERYTHING and don't give two shits about it.

718) Democracy, good or bad?

If only it worked as designed originally...maybe it would be good.

719) Communism, good or bad?

Yes! Whenever bicycles are broken, or menaced by International Communism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready!
Cut to commentator in garden with earphones on, and in front of microphone, which is on a garden table.
Commentator: Ready to smash the communists, wipe them up, and shove them off the face of the earth...(his voice rises hysterically) Mash that dirty red scum, kick 'em in the teeth where it hurts.
(commentator rises from his canvas chair, and flails about wildly, waving script, kicking over
table, knocking down sunshade) Kill! Kill! Kill! The filthy bastard commies, I hate 'em!
I hate 'em! Aaargh! Aaargh!
Wife(off-screen): Norman!Tea's ready.
He immediately looks frightened, and goes docile.
Commentator:(calmly) Coming dear!

720) Have you ever been electrocuted?

Yes. Fucking beach showers!

721) Have you ever been attacked with a creamy bakery product?

What? No!

722) Have you ever shawn a sheep?

No. The only things I know how to shave are my face and my balls. Good enough?

723) Have you ever accidentally set fire to yourself?

Nope.

724) Have you ever eaten a whole tube of pringles by yourself?

Grab me a joint, a can of cola, and we'll see.

725) Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same gender?

(sigh) Not nearly enough.

726) The war in Iraq, good or bad?

All wars are stupid.

727) The war in Afganistan, good or bad?

See 726.

728) Have you ever appeared on youtube?

Yes, on a homemade video of our horrible band making lots of noise.

729) Have you ever performed in front of a large audience?

Not too large. I'd say 20, tops. Ah, but if you'll include that one time we played Black Crowes to a bunch of old people, that would make a good 200 people. That's it. We've almost got ourselves kicked off the stage that night, ehehehe.

730) Have you ever eaten anything prepared by a celebrity chef?

Nein.

731) Have you ever been on radio?

Nein.

732) Did your school make a teatowel that everyone submitted to?

What kind of nonsense is this? 

733) What colour/style was your school tie?

No ties, thankfully.

734) Do you have to wear glasses?

I did...until I got Lasik on both eyes. Best decision ever.

735) Do you bite your nails?

No.

736) Do you prefer male or female singers voices?

Another stupid question. It. All. DEPENDS. On the song. On the Beat. On the type of music being sang. Dumb assholes, who made up these questions.

737) Would you rather be the worlds greatest football player or lover?

I'd say "lover", but it wouldn't make any sense. Since I love nobody at all.

738) Do you get hayfever?

I guess. But it ain't so bad these days.

739) Do you have a list of things to do before your 'x' years old?

Get myself killed before 40.

740) Do you like your age?

NO. Specially on my conditions.

741) Whats your favourite physical thing you like about yourself?

That's easy: nothing.

742) Whats your least favourite physical thing you like about yourself?

Another easy one: everything.

743) Are you proud, comfortable or ashamed of your body?

Ashamed, of course.

744) Whats your favourite personality trait you like about yourself?

None.

745) Whats your least favourite personality trait you like about yourself?

Everything.


746) Do you know html?

Nope.

747) Have you ever flown first class?

Never have, never will.

748) How many languages do you speak?

Two.

749) What are better, violins or pianos?

Listen, imbecile. IT ALL DEPENDS!!! Fuck you.

750) Whats the fastest you've ever driven? (as driver or passenger)

I guess around 80km/h as driver and 180 as an almost dying of fear passenger.

751) What compulsions do you have?

Shopping things I like...and drugs.

752) What makes you angry?

Everything.

753) If you could see any band, which would you like to see?

That's a hard one. I guess I'll go with Swervedriver, being my favourite band and all.

754) Who would you say are more attractive, English or Europeans?

Bitch, listen. It also depends. You, sir, are retarded.

755) What would you say is your favourite album of all time?

"Mezcal Head"  - Swervedriver.

756) Do you dislike hairy people?

Don't like too much body hair, no.

757) Are you much of an adventurer?

No way.

758) Do you like your own name?

Nope.

759) Would you ever sign a Prenuptial agreement?

Fiction. Next!

760) How long has your longest ever phone call been?

One hour, I guess. I dunno.

761) Have you ever stolen anything?

Yes.

762) Could you ever have an affair with a married person?

On principle, never. But I've never been put to the test to confirm that...

763) Could you ever split up a couple for one reason or another?

No! Let themselves figure it out. Leave me out of this shit.

764) What is your family christmases like?

"Terrible" would be the approppriate word. I fucking hate 'em. 

765) Do you prefer sporty or academic members of the opposite sex?

I don't prefer the opposite sex.

766) How much would it cost to buy your love?

Ha, ha, ha.

767) Who was your least favourite teacher at school and why?

The fucking idiot who graduated and went straight into being a substitute teacher. Motherfucker had no clue on whatever he had to do or teach.

768) If you met a Genie who offered you three wishes, what would you wish for? (more wishes does not count)

 Tricky. One, would be a suitcase full of money, all sorts of bills, that always refilled itself every two hours, two, to live in the universe I think I belong to(not this one. Never this one), in the form I think I really am, and three...the one I always wanted by my side to be real.

769) Whats your current Mobile phone model and do you like it?

A Samsung Pocket Lite. It's your basic smartphone, and the cheapest, so it's not that great, specially the touchscreen itself. But it functions, that's enough for me.



770)
771)
772)
773)  (The imbecile left these blank.)
774)
775)
776)
777)


778) Have you already thought about your babies names?

Fuck you. No babies.

779) Have you ever been fishing?

Yeah. It sucks!

780) Have you ever had your national flag painted on your face?

Never, thankfully. 

781) Do you have any strange body things?

"Things" as in what sense? Imbecile.


782) What was the last social faux pas you made?

Dunno, because I never go to any social events.

783) What makes you nostalgic?

784) Whats the scariest thing you've ever done?

 Jump off a high rock into the blue pond, at Serra do Cipó. That's how adventurous I am.

785) What fairy tale character would you most associate with?

The Beast.

786) How much do you tend to swear in public?

I swear  all the fucking time, motherfucker. Fuck you.

787) What are your strengths?

None.

788) What are your weaknesses?

All of them.


789) What brand are your trainers?

I wear fucking tractor-like boots, all of the time when I'm out of my Tower. No trainers.

790) If you ruled your own country, who would you get to writer your national anthem?

IF I could bring him back from the dead, Fernando Pessoa.

791) Who is the most intelligent person you know?

My brother "ex-oficium", Rafael Giannetti Viotti.

791) Whats the craziest thing you've ever done for someone?

I'm thinking hard on this one. I really don't know if I ever done anything worth mentioning to someone.

792) How did you get your name?

How the fuck do you think? My parents decided, "This one shall be called Marcos", and that's it.


793) Whats the best piece of advice anyone has ever given you?

"People! What a bunch of bastards!" - Roy Trennenman.

794) If you had to describe yourself as a flavour, what would it be?

Bile bitter.

795) If you had to describe yourself as a car, what would it be?

A 1977 Fiat 147.

796) If you had to describe yourself as an animal, what would it be?

A worm.

797) Do you think laughing at someone elses misfortune is wrong?

Man is evil by nature. Sometimes, even the most disasterous situations becomes fucking funny for those who are NOT experiencing the thing. And yes, as a fucking human piece of shit, I'd done it too.

798) If a loved one was to serenade you, what song would you most like them to sing?

Loved one..ahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha

799) Would you ever let your parents pick out a partner for you?

I don't think they would.

800) Have you ever tried spam? (the meat product)

The brazilian version, yes. Shitty.






There. All 800. There are a couple more on the archive I compiled...I'll get to those later...

El Camino.

7:10 AM.

Cá estou de novo, na estrada da podridão.

Apodrecendo aos pouquinhos nesse meu cabide de emprego.

Encontr-me desperto desde as 3:50, fui cumprir minha "caçada" na praça  4:20, e fui bem sucedido, apesar da cortina de chuva que a toda hora aparecia.

Enquanto caçava, três imbecis estavam tão doidos que afugentaram o vendedor ambulante de cachorro quente. Falando merda atás de merda.

Quando me cansei e vi que a caçada não produziria mais nada, já era 5:25, decidi apanhar o ônibus das 5:30, que só demorou 27 minutos de atraso. Estou tentando pôr uma reclamção no site dos imbecis da BHTRANStorno, mas na hora de enviar a reclamação, o site trava. Típico né.

E hoje, chuva por todos os lados. Dia cinza de merda.

É...sinto que o demonio não foi expurgado pela noite de sono mal-dormida.

Sabe oque eu não aguento? A ironia da vida. De repente, este ser rabugento toma um remédio queo transforma em um ser leve e calmo, livre e solto, que pela primeira vez na vida conseguiu experimentar uma certa "paz", de repente....

Tudo é negado. Volte a ser o ranzinza de sempre. Volte a se odiar. Volte a ter ganas de endoidar e dar uma surra em você mesmo, pois você sabe que MERECE.


Depois me perguntam porque sou mau-humorado. Pra merda com essa PORRA de vida. De repente, voce acha que venceu, que agora ficará de boa...e dá nisso. Volta dos vícios, dos ódios, do rancor às pessoas, aos frangos de  merda que tanto cacarejam por aí.

Experimente a paz, mas aproveite, que só durará um mês e meio, no máximo.

Sim...eu aproveitei. Estava tudo ótimo.

De repente, tudo volta a ser péssimo.

Merda de vida!

El Finale.

Que merda de dia.

É tudo que pode ser dito de hoje. 

A única coisa que me deu algum alento foi chegar na Torre e receber meu Gideon, sabendo que eu estava na pior, hoje ele não fez o ataque surpresa.

Foi mais um abraço surpresa. Que eu precisava tanto, após esta merda de dia.

Não sei...há algo errado, definitivamente. Falo em relação a meu tratamento, pois de fato eu fui, em questão de dias, dos céus ao inferno. Um inferno que eu esperava nunca mais ver de perto. 

O inferno de odiar a mim mesmo e tudo mais ao meu redor, em geral. 

Misantropia em mim não é surpresa. Mas esta raiva de mim mesmo, fazia muito tempo que eu não tinha. Hoje tive que me segurar ao máximo para não repetir a batalha Burian vs Buriol no banheiro da empresa, e ainda assim alguns sopapos foram desferidos. Nada marcante, felizmente.

Pois estou na corda bamba em relação a isto, lembram-se? Meu Dono mesmo me disse, "A próxima é olho da rua." E houve horas que meu nível de ódio subia tanto que eu tinha que ir pra escada "me matar" um pouquinho com algum "coffin nail" - sim, um fumante é um fumante sempre que as fichas estão em baixa, de fato.

Ou então entrar no banheiro e fazer 450 abdominais. Ou alguma outra coisa. Mas eu sinto o ardor do ódio a me rodear, feito mosca.

Mas acredito saber do que se trata, ao menos em parte.

Tem a ver com a última imagem aqui postada. 

Que pode ser resumida com esta:

De fato. Aos 10, eu achava que aos 38 estaria com a vida feita.

Agora? Aos 38? Eu tenho R$ 0,11 no banco.

E se é pra jogar merda no ventilador, lá vai:

Eu poderia ser a próxima "escolhida" de algum deus para portar seu filho, dada minha virgindade. E pra falar a verdade, é mais fácil, hoje em dia achar alguem como eu pra ser a "virgem" de algum deus que qualquer mulher. Elas parecem já nascer sem hímen hoje em dia. Ou dão aos onze. Dez. Sei lá.  

Eu não sei dirigir. 

Eu moro com meus pais(minha mãe, na verdade, pois o pulha que moldou esta MERDA que vos escreve, ele, o original, está realizando a profecia - endoidecendo sozinho e esquecido, feito vai ser comigo.)

Ganho menos de 2 paus por mês. E este ano, gastei mais que ganhava e agora no final do ano vou me fuder bonito.

E mais uma porção de coisas degenerativas. Como ser empregado de fachada - ou seja, um autêntico funcionário fantasma na empresa. Se eu faltar 45 ou 50 dias, feito eu faltei este ano, com todas as licenças médicas e mais não sei o quê, que falta fez pra empresa?

Que dificuldade acrescentou a meu chefe?

Nenhuma. Zero. Nada. Niente. Fucking nothin'.

Ah sim, e a pior de todas. Quem, em sua plenitude de sanidade, vai às 4:30 da manhã armado com uma lanterna e frasquinhos, colher...guimbas de baseado na Praça do Papa?!

Eu. Eu vou. Todos os dias. Já sou o cara estranho mais odiado por todos os mendigos locais. Há riscos? Enormes. Que diferença faz prum mendigo me esfaquear? 

Ele não tem nada a perder.

Eu não estou nem aí. Vou, e fico puto pra caralho quando sou ludibriado por eles, quando eles chegam primeiro. Sério, outro dia eu tive ganas de matar um deles. Estilo "American History X" - daquele jeitinho.

Por que faço isto? Ora, por ser um junkie dessa porra até hoje. Por precisar de alguma coisa de boa no oceano de merda que me encontro, à deriva.

À deriva. Esta é uma boa definição par minha vida. Está à deriva.

Flutuando sem destino.

Sem propósito nenhum.

Por que acham que pra mim é tentador disparar uma arma de fogo no céu da boca? 

Por que eu NÃO SIRVO PRA NADA.

NADA.

Por isso.

Isto resume o dia de merda....e a vida de merda que o autor destas merdas todas tem.

Verdadeira merda.

Fucking truth.

Fancy Fact!

My owner receives R$ 186.892,84 from his brother-in-law each month.
That's the rent off 4 parking lots around the city.

I'd have to work for 10,4680759 years to pay ONE month of such rent.

Ha
ha
ha
ha
ha
. 

Another One Bites The Dust.

Yes.

That's another failure.

The so-called "miracle drug" ain't working no more. Just like that, it has stopped.

I am filled with anger and regret, hatred and sadness, having strong urges to strangle a certain person, who somehow still believes he's my friend.

I look at the mirror and the desire to kick my own ass to a bloody pulp strikes again.

Sorry mom.

Sorry doc.

Sorry.


It's just not working no more. I hate everything and everyone around me, been having to struggle with the urge of throwing this fucking noisy dot-matrix printer outta window, into traffic.


Seems to me that Parnate gave me a rush...that has worn off. My body must have gotten used to it, just like any chemical it consumes on a regular basis.


Soooo...I see two alternatives, or they increase the dose....or I jump out of the roof.

Because it's fucking unbeareable to be like this, again. I'd never thought it would come back.

But here it is. My old friend. My unseparable firend. My lifetime pal.

Depression.

"I will never leave your side, my darling..."

Feels a bit like this:

"God's your prankster, my boy.

Think of it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift

and then, I swear to you -- for his own amusement -- his own private, cosmic 

gag reel -- he sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. 

Look but don't touch. Touch but don't taste. Taste but don't swallow. And

while you're jumping from one foot the other he's laughing his sick fucking

ass off! He's a tight-ass. He's a sadist. He's an absentee landlord!

(incredulous) Worship that? Never."

This passage - some of you will recognize it from the film, "Devil's Advocate" pretty much

sums what's depression feels like. You know you are able to do, but nonetheless, you just

can't act. You can't get happy. You can't get positive feelings. 

You can't get out of bed.

And you can't....you just can't.....get it out of your head.

Maybe with a fucking bullet, like so many do.

So there you go. Another failure for my collection of fuckups.

Cheers. 

FUCKING PEOPLE!!!!!

I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH:

FUCKING BASTARDS!!!!

Loss.

Loss.
Of everything.
Loss of clueless people who passed as friends,
loss of appetite,
loss of joy.


Gain
Of weight
on my shoulders
again.


Lost, so lost.
I don't wanna feel this lost.
I don't wanna feel.


People, so
many people.
Stay away from me
I'll hurt you,
you'll hurt me,
and that's the way.


Friends that once were
are no longer.
Foes now, foes forever.
Forgive not,
forgive less.


I wanted to set the world on fire
to quench this might desire

Friends! So few.
So few tolerate me.
So few keep up with me.
These are my real friends.

All the others...hellfire.
burn, burn, burn
like the wonders of yonder
the friends of yesterday.

No more.

So, don't read this.
Be on your own.
Keep on thinking
you're my friend yet.
No, not anymore, no.

You know why.
But will never find out cos
you don't read this shit,
so I can tell you- fuck off.

Get the fuck away from me.
I'm not your friend.
No more.

4:21 PM, monday afternoon.

Yeah. Today sucked to high heavens. Nothing improved, in fact, it has gotten worse: rain, traffic, and the mess in between them.

An in this mess, you'll find me, trying to get back home...trying to forget that this very day even existed. At all.

I don't want to punch in these numbers on my desk. Fuck it. Let's kill some time answering a hundred more bullshits:

600) On a scale of 1-10 how random would you say these are?

600. It's also the dumbness factor of these.

601) What is your one major weekness?

I'd say I'm too soft-hearted when I need to be the perfect opposite of that.

602) Whats been the best decision you've made in your life so far?

None.

603) Whats been the worst descision you've made in your life so far?

Get born.

604) What words do you always struggle to spell correctly?

Not sure, but I'm pretty sure that I can write(and spell) a lot better than your average north american dipshit.

605) On a scale of 1-10 how happy would you say you are?

-15 billion billion.

606) On a scale of 1-10 how smart would you say you are?

-16 trillion billion.

607) On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are?

-18 and a half octobillion.

608) On a scale of 1-10 how devious would you say you are?

 zero.

609) On a scale of 1-10 how awesome would you say you are?

zero.

610) On a scale of 1-10 how devilsh would you say you are?

2.

611) On a scale of 1-10 how nice/caring would you say you are?

This ain't a straighforward answer. Depends on the people involved. I can not care at all for some people, for instance, those vagabonds entitled "sem-terra", and care a lot about my sister, or my mom.

612) On a scale of 1-10 how bitchy would you say you are?

6000.

613) On a scale of 1-10 how polite would you say you are?

12.

614) On a scale of 1-10 how attractive would you say you are?

Does a black hole count as an answer? Because that's what each eyesocket looks like. Two black holes, that sucks all beauty outside on a 6 km range.

615) If you could be any famous person who would you be and why?

Bill Watterson. Even though he's famous for creating one of the most perfect comics of all time - Calvin and Hobbes - he cares not about money and he's a recluse. I'd die to draw like he does.

616) Whats your favourite animal beginning with the letter A?

Sua ANTA!

617) Whats your favourite item of clothing beginning with the letter B?

I realize now my vocabulary on clothing ain't that great. So, I dunno. Boots?

618) Whats your favourite expletitive beginning with the letter C?

 You fucking CUMDUMPSTER!

619) Whats your favourite boys name beginning with the letter D?

Oh man, such cretin questions. I dunno. Degas?

620) Whats your favourite girls name beginning with the letter E?

With all this internet trending on my head, I can only think of Emma.

621) Whats your favourite book beginning with the letter F?

Fight Club.

622) Whats your favourite bodypart beginning with the letter G?

G? A garganta desse cara, que eu queria apertar até matar.

623) Whats your favourite musical instrument beginning with the letter H?

Harp.

624) Whats your favourite song beginning with the letter I?

 "In our prime", by The Black Keys.

625) Whats your favourite actress beginning with the letter J?

Jodie Foster.

626) Whats your favourite actor beginning with the letter K?

Kevin Spacey.

627) Whats your favourite film beginning with the letter L?

L.A. Confidential.

628) Whats your favourite tv show beginning with the letter M?

Can't recall of none starting with a M.

629) Whats your favourite game beginning with the letter N?

Can't remember a single one starting with a fucking N...

630) Whats your favourite non alcoholic drink beginning with the letter O?

As if they did not put this here to everyone answer the same shit: orange juice.

631) Whats your favourite food beginning with the letter P?

Petit-pois. I don't even know what the fuck are these, but it's the only food I can think of.

632) Whats your favourite band beginning with the letter Q?

Queens of The Stone Age. Finally, one that actually makes sense!

633) Whats your favourite author beginning with the letter R?

Rubem Braga.

634) Whats your favourite sport beginning with the letter S?

Surf.

635) Whats your favourite job beginning with the letter T?

Coincides with my lost, ever-long lost lifetime dreamjob: Tattoo artist.

636) Whats your favourite mythical creature beginning with the letter U?

I do not have a Monster Guide with me. Go ask my sister, she's got one.

637) Whats your favourite alcoholic drink beginning with the letter V?

No alcohol for patient. Next!

638) Whats your favourite cartoon character beginning with the letter W?

Wile E. Coyote.

639) Whats your favourite word beginning with the letter X?

Xylophone.

640) Whats your favourite city beginning with the letter Y?

The third world. Yorkshire.

641) Whats your favourite country beginning with the letter Z?

It's nobody's favourite country, but you had to squeeze it in, eh? Zimbabwe.

642) Do you get seasick?

Not really.

643) If you discovered a new species of dinosaur what would you call it?

Gimme a break. I'm a fucking biologist. You can't just randomly toss a name on things. You have to consider its Family, Ancestors, common ancestors, and a multitude of factors before naming a new species. That is, if you are a serious scientist. Otherwise, name it Biggus dickus, for all I care.

644) Do you own a paddling pool?

I don't think so. We own no pools at all.

645) What do you consider is the most important piece of furniture in a house?

The guitars.

646) What do you consider is the most important appliance in a house?

The amplifiers.

647) If you could have any celebritys hair whos would it be?

I do have 2007's Britney Spears cut! Ain't it great?

648) Which Celebrity do you find the most annoying?

Well, from our TV, it has to be Luciano Huck. Offseas, I dunno.

649) What potential talents do you think you might have if you worked at them?

At best, but very unlikely, playing the guitar.

650) Who was better, Flipper, Lassie or Skippy?

I only watched Flipper. So...

651) If you could be trained up in any profession of your choice by top professionals what profession would you choose?

Anything involving DNA sequencing and probing. So, a biochemist, I think. (All who know me for sure wouldn't expect this answer, but I wanna think of MONEY, not on fucking "art")

652) If someone elses child was being an annoying little runt would you go tell them off or do something about it?

If I could, I would trip the fucker.

653) Do you believe in kharma?

In a way. But it only works when it's fucking convenient to the fucking universe, it seems. Because there are a lot of complete motherfuckers earning 200k a month or more doing illegal stuff whereas the imbecile here is stuck with a dead-end job forever.

654) Do you believe in revenge?

Only when it's inflicted upon me.

655) Do you believe in fairies?

Nope.

656) Do you believe in a god?

I do sense a superior power, but he/she/it's far different from all scribes. I think he's sadistic, masochistic, ironic and malevolent at most of times.

657) Do you believe there used to be dragons?

What do you mean, "there used to be"? Fuck you. Gideon, burn this motherfucker! Off you go, boy. Come back in time for supper.

658) Who would you want to be with on a desert island?

Nobody.

659) What's the worst show on television?

The fucking office.

660) Who's your favourite god from ancient history?

Mithra.

661) What one device would you want to see added to a mobile phone?

A teleporter.

662) Where do you see yourself in 1 months time?

Right here, probably doing the same thing, eating a bite, sipping on coffee, smoking a fag, smoking sunshine, let it digest before I got on them weights.

663) Where do you see yourself in 1 years time?

See above answer.

664) Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

I want to be dead. Can I be dead. Let me be dead, please.

665) What was the best thing about your old school?

When I left school.

666) What was the worst thing about your old school?

When I had to go there.

667) If you could change your name to anything what would your new name be?

Finally, a pondering question. Another name...hmmm...ah, it makes no difference, it would be the same loser with another name. Same shit, different name.

668) Do you watch too much tv?

Not at all. I don't even get close to TV.

669) Have you ever planted a tree?

Trees. Marijuana. Lots of it. Ah, sweet memories!

670) Whats the heaviest thing you can lift?

By now, a 10kg bar with 36kg attached to each side.

671) What was the last present you recieved?

I think it was a perfume.

672) Are your ears lobed or attached?

Lobed.

673) How often do you wash your ears?

Everyday? What kind of pig are you?

674) Could you go out with someone who had a child from a previous relationship?

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahha, that I'd like to see, a single gay man ...with a child. Get real.

675) What was your first alcoholic drink?

Those dreadful wines that came out of those 5-liter bottles, at $1,99 on the supermarket.

676) What was your first job?

Same shit I'm doing today, only with different salary and levels of deceit.

677) What was your first car? (or what would you like it to be?)

I'll never own a car.

678) What was your first mobile phone?

"The Unbreakable", Nokia 6210.

679) What is your first proper memory?

I recalled staring at the mirror, pretty close. Looking into my eyes. Dunno why.

680) Who was your first teacher?

Sorry, can't remember her at all. Only the fact that she was a woman.

681) Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?

Ilhéus, BA.

682) Who was your first best friend?

Marcelinho, from kindergarten. Haven't heard from him for at least 25 years though.

683) What was your first detention for?

I wasn't wearing socks on a gym day. Fuck you, teacher. Fuck you, school.

684) Whats your strongest voluntary muscle?

It's been said that it is the tongue, isn't it? Or is it just another internet rumour? I'm too lazy to google for it. Figure it out yourselves, if you'd like.

685) Who was your first kiss?

You got that wrong. The appropriate question is "Who will?"

686) What was the first film you remember seeing at the cinema?

ET - The Extra-Terrestrial.

687) What thing that you've made are you most proud of?

Er...nothing? Is that an acceptable answer?

688) Could you ever be someones bodygaurd?

Only if you arm me with a minigun.

689) Michelangelo's David... Masterpiece or filth?

Filth? How dare you! Are you fucking nuts??? The most pérfect sculpture ever, filth??? FUCK YOU.

690) Do you like other people buying you clothes?

Yes, so I don't have to go shopping.

691) Have you ever brought a present for someone that they hated/disliked?

Of course. At work, for example. We had to "gift" those getting married. Each and everyone has to cough up at least a tenner. And I always give, because it's expected of a good employee. But I loathe most of those people, so...

692) What nicknames do you have/have had?

Buriol, Burian, CosMar, CosMarcius, those are the ones that stick. All other ones faded, and I don't even remember them...

693) Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

Stop calling my dragon imaginary, you fuck. By the way, hope you enjoyed getting charred by this imaginary dragon.

694) Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

I've seen more than you imagine, been the subject of more tests you can imagine, been the guinea pig for more drugs you can imagine, and yes, I still have them both: a shrink(tomorrow at 9AM) and a psychotherapist as well. And, judging by the way I'm feeling these days, I should anticipate my appointment with a certain Dr Milagres.

695) Have you ever carved a pumpkin?

Nope. We ain't got that tradidion here.

696) Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

I've been a terrible influence on one of my dearest friends, and it has cost me dearly.

697) Do you prefer giving or recieving gifts/help etc

I'd rather receive them, thank you very much.

698) If you were a member of the spice girls, what would your spice handle be?

What the hell! Go fuck yourself with a lamp post!

699) If you were to become a famous singer, what would your debut album be called?

Unknown Album, just to fuck up people with iPods.

700) If you could join any music group which would you want to join?

Swervedriver, for sure.


Fuck me, I took a break to get back home, and now it's 7 PM.

I fucking hate this daytime(light?) savings bullshit.

Bleu.

Oh look, it's here again

it's here to stay

in fact, it never got away

never, ever got away

I've got the blues, kiddo

I've got the blues right here and now

I've got the blues, oh shake me down,

I've got the blues all around.

Oh listen I've gotta say

the blues will never go away

no matter what you do

what you take

the blues are here

to stay

drop them pills, go to the doc

"doc, this ain't helping me at all"

"I know kiddo, and you haven't seen it all"

pills and pills, smoke and sound

won't drop it around

tell the truth, tell me now

tell me how

I got caught once again

"oh no son, we never went away"

Never went away

the blues is here to stay

Never, ever got away

the blues are yours, are mine

The blues are us

sitting in a bus

waiting to go home

to be all alone

It's all it's gonna be

dust, spiders, the dragon and me

dust, no money, no love, all mine

dust and smoke

paint the blues

around you

even sunshine won't keep it at bay

even sunshine will let it stay

even the meds that seemed to work

had failed and now it's back on full force

These are my blues,

these are my rules

stay cold, stay blue

stay shut, stay cool

I've got the blues baby, once again

I've the blues and it won't go away

I've got the blues cos I ain't got no you

is it that - or something else

that's been keeping the blues in here

in here

nothing ever lasts

only the blues, baby

the blues will never leave ya

It's me, damn right I know

It's me causing all of this

It's me who won't go

and let the blues go

Damn right, it's me

It's who I ever wanted to be

Damn right, it won't be,

so sing the blues tonight!

Alright!

I'm coloured blue

I'm the color blue

I'm the meaning of it all

Under the dust and spiders,

blue,

under the bushes under the stars

blue,

under the rooftoop of mine

blue,

I am coloured blue

By me...by you.

Honey, let the blues sing your day

In so many ways

Let it dictate your day

same shit, different days.

Same shit, always.

 

Round and round.

Have you ever possessed something that you dearly loved, or rather, needed, but the damned thing is never working properly?

I got a fine example of such thing inside my own very skull.


This fucking Central Neural System.


You pack it with Sertraline, no effect.
You fill it with Risperidone, you get a drooling person who doesn't feel anything.
You put it on Venlafaxine, tastes to him like fucking sweetened water.


Then, one wonderful day, you put him on the most dangerous antidepressant that exists, and things seemed to have worked. It is flooded with good feelings, rather than bad ones.

And it lasts...for two months.

Now it's back on its shitty state. Moody. Needy.


Sometimes I expect a fucking massive headache to form inside, and along with it, a fucking stroke. Due to some sorta old food I've eaten inadvertently. Tyramine, more than 6 mg.


Everything is losing sense. And fast.

I just hope that this may be the vitrual syphon I've put on my younger sister, to drain from her the depression. Well, it seems to be working. The better she gets, the worse I get.

Depression. Consider yourself lucky, if you were born without this malady.

Shit'll fuck you up in ways you have no idea could even be possible. And no matter what you do, what doctor you see, what fucking med you'll take...it will always make its comeback, sooner or later.

Well, I felt fine for two months. It was good while it lasted. Now, back to normal...
...the same old self-loathing....
...the old same lack of confidence...
...the same old loneliness....

Some things are eternal, in certain people. Like me.

One more round.

Meh. Bored as fuck, it's not even 3 PM...not inspired to write anything meaningful or even continue to work on the story I'm writing...

So let it be. Here comes another hundred silly questions:

401) Do you know any self defence or martial arts?

Nein. Never had the patience or discipline to follow through Karate, so I thought, "It's gonna be the same shit with any other martial thing. Fuck it."

402) Who's your favourite movie action hero?

Ahahahaha, that's gotta be Steven Seagal and his emotionless expression, and ponytail. Plus, I've heard the motherfucker collects vintage guitars.

403) Have you ever ridden a motorcycle?

Yes, but always as passenger. Never drove one around. 

404) Do you collect anything?

Dragons...but I'm not fanatic. Plus, I'm always broke, and those things are expensive as shit.

405) Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion?

Hats. We all should be wearing fedoras.

406) Do you stick to conventional fashions or like to try and be original?

Follow fashion??? ME??? Uahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahaha. I dress whatever's on the top of the pile. 

407) Have you ever given someone a handmade present?

Drawings...shitty drawings.

408) Are you introvert or extrovert?

Introvert as fuck. In fact, I loathe people so much, I really need to be completely alone for at least one hour per day. But I NEED it like a heroin addict need his fix.

409) If you could have any feature from an animal what would you want?

Wings, specially if they really worked.

410) Whats your prefered swimming stroke?

Swimming stroke? Wat? D'you mean, if I had a stroke and was swimming...nah, I know, I'm just fucking around. Now, to answer the question - none. I hate water.

411) Have you ever been scuba diving?

Nope.

412) Have you ever had a disasterous interview?

Well...if you mean "interview" as a "job interview", then no. In fact, I've never been in a fucking interview. Ever.

413) What makes you nervous?

What, d'you want a list? Mostly, the whole fucking world scares me. 

414) Which of the 5 senses would you say is your strongest?

They're all fucking lame, just like every human alive. We've been "blessed" with the shittiest set of senses I've ever seen in a fucking "predator" - and I tell this as a biologist. Our senses SUCKS ASS.

415) What colour are your eyes?

Some call this mix of mud brown with fleeces of other colours, "green", but I know better. This ain't green. So, it's just a fucking weird colour.

416) Have you ever been to an Art gallery?

Yes...the Palacio Das Artes one had a few good exhibits. Even though I only felt obligated to sse the M.C. Escher's exhibit. All the rest is fucking bullshit, nowadays.

417) Do you shout out the answers at the TV whilst watching quiz shows?

I. Don't. Watch. TV.

418) Are you a valuable asset on a Pub Quiz team?

An asset to what now? Pub Quiz? (checks urban dictionary) What the hell? We don't have nothing of the sort around here. So no.

419) Have you ever won any kind of quiz yourself?

Nope.

420) Do you get over-involved with TV or movie plots at times?

Oh yes, if the movie is right, or the show's great, I really get involved, like I did on The X-Files time. But what a letdown, in the end...

421) Do you own any inflatable furniture?

I have some inflatable mattresses for camping. That's all. 

422) Whats the highest hill or mountain you've ever climbed?

Hmmm...no one?

423) Do you have a piggy bank?

I don't even have $20 in the fucking bank, d'you think I'd be keeping any extra money somewhere else? No.

424) Whats the fastest you've ever travelled in a car?

I don't call it "travelling", I call it "My rich friend bought a fancy car and it's showing off, to 190 km/h uphill." Oh, I was so astonished with awe. Nah, in fact, I wanted to kill the bastard afterwards. Only problem is, he's my owner. So, keep quiet, smile  and say, "Ehehehe. What a machine, eheheh"

425) Could you ever hand milk a cow?

This question again? Fuck you.

426) Do you have popcorn with a movie?

Nope. I rarely eat popcorn, as a matter of fact.

427) Whats the furthest you've ever got a paper airplane to fly?

Nah, they've all sucked ass, went at maximum two meters and nosedive'd to the ground.

428) Have you ever built an igloo?

Only if I crawled into the fridge and tried to mount one out of ice cubes. We ain't got snow here, goddammit!

429) Can you play the harmonica?

Nein.

430) Have you ever made a ball of twine or rubberbands?

What ever for?

431) If given the option of having a flake in your ice cream do you always take it?

Ice cream should be eaten straight, without anything on top. It just spoils the ice cream, these toppings. Or mybe I didn't fully understood the question. How d'you mean "a flake"? What the fuck?

432) Could you ever be a living organ donor?

I don't love no one that much, thank you very much. My organs are mine to keep. Screw people.

433) Which was your favourite science? Biology, Physics or Chemistry?

Here we go again. Fucking Biology, that has completely ruined my fucking life. Satisfied??

434) Could you ever go out with someone just cause they're rich?

If I loathed the person that much, but they were gullible enough, then yes. I am a horrible person, but they are WORSE. People, I mean.

435) Have you ever contemplated sueing someone?

Yes! A fucking homophobe that used to be my friend. I'd sue that fucker. But let it be. Let karma do its job to that shithead.

436) Are you pretty devious?


I'll translate this into, "are you kinda nuts?" Yes. Definitely yes.

437) Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise)

Nope.

438) Are you any good at giving massages?

To whom? To the air? Fuck you.

439) Whats been your worst date ever?

Was there any date, ever? NO. NEVER. So, none.

440) Have you ever slapped someone in public?

Nope, but I felt the urge, certainly.

441) Have you ever drawn on a sleeping or inebriated person?

Meaning, "Have I been a dick to my defenseless friend" - NO. I'm not a fucking asshole.

442) Have you ever worn clothing with the labels/tags still attached?

 Yes.

443) Have you ever slipped on a banana skin?

I am not a unoriginal cartoon.

444) Are you scared of the dark?

Nope.

445) Do you have a lawyer?

Well, I got a close friend who's a lawyer...but given his status quo in this firm I work, he'd be of no help if I needed it. So, no. Besides, lawyers are for people with money, my ol' chap. 

446) Have you ever been wolf whistled in public?

By two tramps in rags. It was fucking embarassing. 

447) Whats the worst chatup line you've heard?

Chatup? Shut up? (checks urban dictionary again) .... No. One. Has. Ever. Approached. Me. With. That. Kind. Of. Intent. So, FUCK YOU!

448) Have you ever been water skiing?

Closest to that I've ever done was to ride upon a surfboard pulled by a tiny boat, in a river.

449) Have you ever hopelessly failed a test?

Most of the tests, life-wise or school-wise, I've failed.

450) If you had a year off, what would you want to do?

Stay in my Tower. Smoke weed. Watch shows. Watch pornography. Eat. Drink coffeee. Sleep. But not travel. Nope. No. No. No. No money, no will. 

451) How many sms/txt messages do you recieve on average a day?

Zero.

452) How long did you last phone call last?

About thirty minutes, with one of my last friends still on my circle of trust. 

453) Do you go to car boot sales?

Er...if the definition of urban dictionary is accurate, no. And besides, what would be the point? I can't afford a whole meal(less than $20), let alone a  motherfucking car.

454) If you saw someone drop a £10 note, would you claim it for your own or try to return it to them?

I think I'd return it. Depends on the person who lost it...if it was clearly an imbecile, then no.

455) Have you ever helped someone across the road?

Some old ladies and some blind people.

456) Have you ever been horseriding?

Yes, but I fucking hate to ride horses. Stupid fucking animals. You know what? Fuck horseback riding, we don't need that shit no more.

457) Have you ever walked a tightrope?

No, and I don't intend to. 

458) Have you ever demolished a wall or building?

Yes. Kinda pleasing, demolishing things. 

459) If you and a friend both wanted the same thing would you let the friend get it first?

Kinda vague question. Depends on the "thing" itself. 

460) Have you ever argued over who should pay for something?

Yes.

461) Do you have any family heirlooms?

I've got a czech 1939 golden protest coin against the nazis. That's the closest thing I've got.

462) Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous?

Nope.

463) Whats your favourite ocean?

What's that? Since 2007, I know nothing of oceans, beaches and all sorts.

464) Do you correct peoples mistakes?

Sometimes. But I don't like to, feels arrogant to me.

465) Have you ever helped out an injured animal?

Some birds...but they did not survive.

466) Do you throw bread for the ducks?

We ain't got no parks with ducks here, laddie. We got squares full of potheads instead, thankfully. Because the spoils are mine. MINE.


467) Do you think babies are little bundles of joy or smelly noisey things?

Kill. Babies. Kill. Babies. They are PEOPLE just like the rest.

468) Do you give money to buskers?

Nope. I ain't got any money, and you still want me to give some away? Fuck off!

469) Have you ever tossed your own pancake?

Yes. It's rather easy, actually.

470) Are you any good at egg and spoon races?

Never been, never will come close to such a fucking waste of time like that.

471) Are you allergic to anything?

Two things: the world, and people.


472) Are you ticklish?

I think I am. Dunno. No human contact for at least 30 years. Sod off.

473) Do you prefer tea,coffee or cocoa?

Coffee, a thousand times.

474) Do you like Turkish Delight?

Just checked it on google. Never seen one of those.

475) Do you buy people presents to bring back when you go on holiday?

I never go on holiday. I stay at The Tower Inn. The only present I could offer people are brown recluse spiders, and dust. That good enough?

476) Are you tired of answering questions yet?

These silly questions? Yes. Specially, that you repeat something every 10 questions or so. 


477) Have you ever been wheelbarrow racing?

What ever for? 

478) Do you ever forward or reply to chain mails?

Never. Only fools do that.


479) Do you often have a tune in your head you can't name?

Only if it's something awful I've listened out in the open, because the tunes in my head usually are quality ones, since I don't listen to that dreadful thing called the radio, nor watch/listen to nowadays music, which all seems to suck monkey fuck. Yes, I'm getting old. A curmudgeon, if you like.

480) Has anyone ever approached you thinking you were someone else?

Yes. 

481) Have you ever been approached by someone who knew you but you couldn't remember them for the life of you?

Nope. I just met some people sometimes, whose names I can't remember at all. 


482) What do you do to keep fit?

"Bro, do you even lift?"  - uahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahah

483) Are you the sort to step in and try to break up a fight?

Nope. And to be honest, I've never had to.

484) Have you ever been in a fight?

With myself. I lost.

485) Have you ever started a rumour?

No. I'm not an asshole.


486) Have you ever heard any outstanding rumours about yourself?

Hmmmm....no, I don't think so.

487) Have you ever been in or had a food fight?

Nope, thankfully.

488) When its your birthday do you always wear an age badge?

Only if it's a black tissue round the arm. I'm grieving for yet another year wasted.

489) Have you ever starred in an amateur or professional video?

Yes, as a matter of fact. Of course, it was just an "art" school's thingie.  Amateur at its finest.

490) If you were comfortbly rich would you work hard for more or rest on your laurels?

See answer to question 450. Only add that my amenities in The Tower would be state-of-the-art. A full gym, a big-ass monitor/TV to watch my shows and films. I'd never work. Ever. Again.

491) Have you ever been in a position of authority?

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha

492) Have you ever been caught in a comprimising position? even despite a valid explanation?

Caught with my pants down, you mean. No...not really, I think.

493) Have you ever tried to make your own alcohol?

Me and my brother made shitty wine once.


494) If you were ruler of your own country what would you call it?

No-one's land. Because PEOPLE wouldn't be allowed.

495) And what title would you give yourself?

Title? What for? There wouldn't be nobody around to acknowledge it.

496) If you invented a monster what would you call it?

The Terezinha.

497) And what features would it have?

She would be a shitty portuguese teacher.


498) Have you ever had a dream you chased only to be let down when you achived it?

I have NEVER achieved any of my dreams. Fuck you for asking.

499) Is there anything about the opposite sex you just don't understand or comprehend?

Everything. They seem to be from another planet, indeed.And I have to add this as well:

500) Who was your favourite teacher at school and why?

I loved Vlad. He was Romanian, and from....Transylvania. Besides those funny facts, he was an awesome teacher. Prolly the only one that was really worth going to "art" school for.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

300 to go...whew....they repeat stuff, ask the dumbest things, whoever came up with this questionnaire is a moron. Anyway, it helped to pass the time in this shithole. It's almost "Fuck This Shit" o'clock...

Anyways, there you have them.