So let it be. Here comes another hundred silly questions:
401) Do you know any self defence or martial arts?
Nein. Never had the patience or discipline to follow through Karate, so I thought, "It's gonna be the same shit with any other martial thing. Fuck it."
402) Who's your favourite movie action hero?
Ahahahaha, that's gotta be Steven Seagal and his emotionless expression, and ponytail. Plus, I've heard the motherfucker collects vintage guitars.
403) Have you ever ridden a motorcycle?
Yes, but always as passenger. Never drove one around.
404) Do you collect anything?
Dragons...but I'm not fanatic. Plus, I'm always broke, and those things are expensive as shit.
405) Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion?
Hats. We all should be wearing fedoras.
406) Do you stick to conventional fashions or like to try and be original?
Follow fashion??? ME??? Uahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahaha. I dress whatever's on the top of the pile.
407) Have you ever given someone a handmade present?
Drawings...shitty drawings.
408) Are you introvert or extrovert?
Introvert as fuck. In fact, I loathe people so much, I really need to be completely alone for at least one hour per day. But I NEED it like a heroin addict need his fix.
409) If you could have any feature from an animal what would you want?
Wings, specially if they really worked.
410) Whats your prefered swimming stroke?
Swimming stroke? Wat? D'you mean, if I had a stroke and was swimming...nah, I know, I'm just fucking around. Now, to answer the question - none. I hate water.
411) Have you ever been scuba diving?
Nope.
412) Have you ever had a disasterous interview?
Well...if you mean "interview" as a "job interview", then no. In fact, I've never been in a fucking interview. Ever.
413) What makes you nervous?
What, d'you want a list? Mostly, the whole fucking world scares me.
414) Which of the 5 senses would you say is your strongest?
They're all fucking lame, just like every human alive. We've been "blessed" with the shittiest set of senses I've ever seen in a fucking "predator" - and I tell this as a biologist. Our senses SUCKS ASS.
415) What colour are your eyes?
Some call this mix of mud brown with fleeces of other colours, "green", but I know better. This ain't green. So, it's just a fucking weird colour.
416) Have you ever been to an Art gallery?
Yes...the Palacio Das Artes one had a few good exhibits. Even though I only felt obligated to sse the M.C. Escher's exhibit. All the rest is fucking bullshit, nowadays.
417) Do you shout out the answers at the TV whilst watching quiz shows?
I. Don't. Watch. TV.
418) Are you a valuable asset on a Pub Quiz team?
An asset to what now? Pub Quiz? (checks urban dictionary) What the hell? We don't have nothing of the sort around here. So no.
419) Have you ever won any kind of quiz yourself?
Nope.
420) Do you get over-involved with TV or movie plots at times?
Oh yes, if the movie is right, or the show's great, I really get involved, like I did on The X-Files time. But what a letdown, in the end...
421) Do you own any inflatable furniture?
I have some inflatable mattresses for camping. That's all.
422) Whats the highest hill or mountain you've ever climbed?
Hmmm...no one?
423) Do you have a piggy bank?
I don't even have $20 in the fucking bank, d'you think I'd be keeping any extra money somewhere else? No.
424) Whats the fastest you've ever travelled in a car?
I don't call it "travelling", I call it "My rich friend bought a fancy car and it's showing off, to 190 km/h uphill." Oh, I was so astonished with awe. Nah, in fact, I wanted to kill the bastard afterwards. Only problem is, he's my owner. So, keep quiet, smile and say, "Ehehehe. What a machine, eheheh"
425) Could you ever hand milk a cow?
This question again? Fuck you.
426) Do you have popcorn with a movie?
Nope. I rarely eat popcorn, as a matter of fact.
427) Whats the furthest you've ever got a paper airplane to fly?
Nah, they've all sucked ass, went at maximum two meters and nosedive'd to the ground.
428) Have you ever built an igloo?
Only if I crawled into the fridge and tried to mount one out of ice cubes. We ain't got snow here, goddammit!
429) Can you play the harmonica?
Nein.
430) Have you ever made a ball of twine or rubberbands?
What ever for?
431) If given the option of having a flake in your ice cream do you always take it?
Ice cream should be eaten straight, without anything on top. It just spoils the ice cream, these toppings. Or mybe I didn't fully understood the question. How d'you mean "a flake"? What the fuck?
432) Could you ever be a living organ donor?
I don't love no one that much, thank you very much. My organs are mine to keep. Screw people.
433) Which was your favourite science? Biology, Physics or Chemistry?
Here we go again. Fucking Biology, that has completely ruined my fucking life. Satisfied??
434) Could you ever go out with someone just cause they're rich?
If I loathed the person that much, but they were gullible enough, then yes. I am a horrible person, but they are WORSE. People, I mean.
435) Have you ever contemplated sueing someone?
Yes! A fucking homophobe that used to be my friend. I'd sue that fucker. But let it be. Let karma do its job to that shithead.
436) Are you pretty devious?
I'll translate this into, "are you kinda nuts?" Yes. Definitely yes.
437) Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise)
Nope.
438) Are you any good at giving massages?
To whom? To the air? Fuck you.
439) Whats been your worst date ever?
Was there any date, ever? NO. NEVER. So, none.
440) Have you ever slapped someone in public?
Nope, but I felt the urge, certainly.
441) Have you ever drawn on a sleeping or inebriated person?
Meaning, "Have I been a dick to my defenseless friend" - NO. I'm not a fucking asshole.
442) Have you ever worn clothing with the labels/tags still attached?
Yes.
443) Have you ever slipped on a banana skin?
I am not a unoriginal cartoon.
444) Are you scared of the dark?
Nope.
445) Do you have a lawyer?
Well, I got a close friend who's a lawyer...but given his status quo in this firm I work, he'd be of no help if I needed it. So, no. Besides, lawyers are for people with money, my ol' chap.
446) Have you ever been wolf whistled in public?
By two tramps in rags. It was fucking embarassing.
447) Whats the worst chatup line you've heard?
Chatup? Shut up? (checks urban dictionary again) .... No. One. Has. Ever. Approached. Me. With. That. Kind. Of. Intent. So, FUCK YOU!
448) Have you ever been water skiing?
Closest to that I've ever done was to ride upon a surfboard pulled by a tiny boat, in a river.
449) Have you ever hopelessly failed a test?
Most of the tests, life-wise or school-wise, I've failed.
450) If you had a year off, what would you want to do?
Stay in my Tower. Smoke weed. Watch shows. Watch pornography. Eat. Drink coffeee. Sleep. But not travel. Nope. No. No. No. No money, no will.
451) How many sms/txt messages do you recieve on average a day?
Zero.
452) How long did you last phone call last?
About thirty minutes, with one of my last friends still on my circle of trust.
453) Do you go to car boot sales?
Er...if the definition of urban dictionary is accurate, no. And besides, what would be the point? I can't afford a whole meal(less than $20), let alone a motherfucking car.
454) If you saw someone drop a £10 note, would you claim it for your own or try to return it to them?
I think I'd return it. Depends on the person who lost it...if it was clearly an imbecile, then no.
455) Have you ever helped someone across the road?
Some old ladies and some blind people.
456) Have you ever been horseriding?
Yes, but I fucking hate to ride horses. Stupid fucking animals. You know what? Fuck horseback riding, we don't need that shit no more.
457) Have you ever walked a tightrope?
No, and I don't intend to.
458) Have you ever demolished a wall or building?
Yes. Kinda pleasing, demolishing things.
459) If you and a friend both wanted the same thing would you let the friend get it first?
Kinda vague question. Depends on the "thing" itself.
460) Have you ever argued over who should pay for something?
Yes.
461) Do you have any family heirlooms?
I've got a czech 1939 golden protest coin against the nazis. That's the closest thing I've got.
462) Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous?
Nope.
463) Whats your favourite ocean?
What's that? Since 2007, I know nothing of oceans, beaches and all sorts.
464) Do you correct peoples mistakes?
Sometimes. But I don't like to, feels arrogant to me.
465) Have you ever helped out an injured animal?
Some birds...but they did not survive.
466) Do you throw bread for the ducks?
We ain't got no parks with ducks here, laddie. We got squares full of potheads instead, thankfully. Because the spoils are mine. MINE.
467) Do you think babies are little bundles of joy or smelly noisey things?
Kill. Babies. Kill. Babies. They are PEOPLE just like the rest.
468) Do you give money to buskers?
Nope. I ain't got any money, and you still want me to give some away? Fuck off!
469) Have you ever tossed your own pancake?
Yes. It's rather easy, actually.
470) Are you any good at egg and spoon races?
Never been, never will come close to such a fucking waste of time like that.
471) Are you allergic to anything?
Two things: the world, and people.
472) Are you ticklish?
I think I am. Dunno. No human contact for at least 30 years. Sod off.
473) Do you prefer tea,coffee or cocoa?
Coffee, a thousand times.
474) Do you like Turkish Delight?
Just checked it on google. Never seen one of those.
475) Do you buy people presents to bring back when you go on holiday?
I never go on holiday. I stay at The Tower Inn. The only present I could offer people are brown recluse spiders, and dust. That good enough?
476) Are you tired of answering questions yet?
These silly questions? Yes. Specially, that you repeat something every 10 questions or so.
477) Have you ever been wheelbarrow racing?
What ever for?
478) Do you ever forward or reply to chain mails?
Never. Only fools do that.
479) Do you often have a tune in your head you can't name?
Only if it's something awful I've listened out in the open, because the tunes in my head usually are quality ones, since I don't listen to that dreadful thing called the radio, nor watch/listen to nowadays music, which all seems to suck monkey fuck. Yes, I'm getting old. A curmudgeon, if you like.
480) Has anyone ever approached you thinking you were someone else?
Yes.
481) Have you ever been approached by someone who knew you but you couldn't remember them for the life of you?
Nope. I just met some people sometimes, whose names I can't remember at all.
482) What do you do to keep fit?
"Bro, do you even lift?" - uahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahah
483) Are you the sort to step in and try to break up a fight?
Nope. And to be honest, I've never had to.
484) Have you ever been in a fight?
With myself. I lost.
485) Have you ever started a rumour?
No. I'm not an asshole.
486) Have you ever heard any outstanding rumours about yourself?
Hmmmm....no, I don't think so.
487) Have you ever been in or had a food fight?
Nope, thankfully.
488) When its your birthday do you always wear an age badge?
Only if it's a black tissue round the arm. I'm grieving for yet another year wasted.
489) Have you ever starred in an amateur or professional video?
Yes, as a matter of fact. Of course, it was just an "art" school's thingie. Amateur at its finest.
490) If you were comfortbly rich would you work hard for more or rest on your laurels?
See answer to question 450. Only add that my amenities in The Tower would be state-of-the-art. A full gym, a big-ass monitor/TV to watch my shows and films. I'd never work. Ever. Again.
491) Have you ever been in a position of authority?
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha
492) Have you ever been caught in a comprimising position? even despite a valid explanation?
Caught with my pants down, you mean. No...not really, I think.
493) Have you ever tried to make your own alcohol?
Me and my brother made shitty wine once.
494) If you were ruler of your own country what would you call it?
No-one's land. Because PEOPLE wouldn't be allowed.
495) And what title would you give yourself?
Title? What for? There wouldn't be nobody around to acknowledge it.
496) If you invented a monster what would you call it?
The Terezinha.
497) And what features would it have?
She would be a shitty portuguese teacher.
498) Have you ever had a dream you chased only to be let down when you achived it?
I have NEVER achieved any of my dreams. Fuck you for asking.
499) Is there anything about the opposite sex you just don't understand or comprehend?
Everything. They seem to be from another planet, indeed.And I have to add this as well:
500) Who was your favourite teacher at school and why?
I loved Vlad. He was Romanian, and from....Transylvania. Besides those funny facts, he was an awesome teacher. Prolly the only one that was really worth going to "art" school for.
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300 to go...whew....they repeat stuff, ask the dumbest things, whoever came up with this questionnaire is a moron. Anyway, it helped to pass the time in this shithole. It's almost "Fuck This Shit" o'clock...
Anyways, there you have them.
