? What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
The same lie - "You are handsome." as always.
? What’s one thing you’re deeply proud of — but would never put on your résumé?
Nothing embarassing, really. I had a great gig some years ago, by 2005 I believe, at a restaurant, played some songs with my sister. But that night, somehow I've became the guitar itself. Never played so good. It was the best gig I've ever done. Not a thing to put on résumés, indeed.
? What’s the most out-of-character choice you’ve ever made?
Well, dancing that shitty thing they call "forró" is one, definitely. What a fucking waste of time and what an embarassment it was.
? If a mysterious benefactor wrote you a check for $5,000 and said, “Help me solve a problem — any problem!” … what would you do with him or her?
I'd ask, "And what is the problem, exactly?"
? What’s going to be carved on your (hypothetical) tombstone?
Here Lies A Person Who Lived Alone, And Died Alone.
? What are you FREAKISHLY good at?
Nothing, really. Unless you can count sleeping, smoking, eating as talents. I'm fucking good at sleeping - with my pills, of course. And I smoke damn well too, even though I can't seem to figure how the fuck they blow smoke rings. I'd love to be able to do that, even though it's rather foolish.
? What’s one dream that you’ve tucked away, for the moment? How come?
Find a freak like me to share a life.
? What are you STARVING for?
Er...er....sex?
? If you could have tea with one fictional character, who would it be?
Gandalf. He'd have a lot of stories to tell.
? Do you have a morning ritual?
Coffee and fags(note: you people realize that a "fag", in british english is a cigarrette, don't you?)
? Do you believe in magic? When have you felt it?
No, I don't believe in magic. The closest thing to that I believe is imagination.
? Is there something that people consistently ask for your advice on? What is it?
Well, my sisters asked me a lot about depression, since I'm a fucking expert on the fucking subject.
? Have you ever fantasized about changing your first name? To what?
Blah. Names are just names. I'm just glad I don't got a ridiculous one, like our "malacos" give their sons....Erisvaldo, Apoleia, Cheylla. To name a few.
? When was the last time you astonished yourself?
At my birthday. I was happy, truly happy. That's the rarest thing to feel. To me, at least.
? What’s your personal anthem or theme song?
The "Game Of Thrones" intro song, for one. There are others.
? Do you ever yearn for your life, before Facebook?
What the fuck? I don't even have a profile anymore on that piece of shit thing, one of the most fucking stupid time-waster ever invented. Not only that, it helps spread hate, false rumours and whatnot. Facebook should be banned from existence. Seriously.
? What’s your definition of an ideal houseguest?
One who helps cleanin the tables, making his/her bed, offers to help around, who is polite and know how to respect the privacy of their hosts.
? If you had an extra $100 to spend on yourself every week, what would you do?
If you're talking USA Dollars, I'd...I'd....I'd buy something for myself each week, or invest in my own groceries and supplies, like buying coffee, bread, and whatnot.
? If you could sit down with your 15-year old self, what would you tell him or her?
"Listen here, bonehead. DO NOT pick fucking Biology as a major. Pick Medicine, you'll pass."
? What are you BORED of?
People! What a bunch of bastards!
? What’s the best birthday cake you ever ate?
Some fancy white chocolate cake at a friend's sister birthday party, years ago.
? How do you engage with panhandlers on the street?
Eh? I just tell them to fuck off.
? Do you think LOVE is chemical, intellectual, spiritual — or completely undefinable?
No. I think it doesn't exist.
? Have you ever dreamed about starting a business? (Or if you’ve already got one — a new business?)
My dreamjob - a tattoo studio of my own.
? Are you afraid of flying in airplanes? (How come?)
Yes. Because it's a fucking machine, and if it falls, we're all gonna die. Simple as that.
? What’s your most urgent priority for the rest of the year?
? If you could master any instrument on earth, what would it be?
Jimi Hendrix, motherfucker! Ever heard of him? I'd love to have at least 30% of his talent.
? Have you ever been genuinely afraid for your physical safety?
Yes, inside speeding cars.
? What are you an expert on? Is it because of training, lived experience, or both?
Nothing.
? Has a teacher ever changed your life? How so?
No...not really, no.
? Are there any household chores you secretly enjoy? Which ones — and why?
Enjoy household chores? Are you mental??
? How do you reign in self-critical voices?
I can't. They're always at the wheel.
? If you could custom blend a perfume or cologne, what would it include?
Who the fuck do you think I am, Walter White? I know nothing about chemistry!
? What does FEAR feel like, in your body?
Being alive.
? Do you think you’re currently operating at 100% capacity?
Nope. Close to 5%. Maybe 4.5%
? What do you value most: free time, recognition, or money?
Free time...with money. Eheheheheheheh.
? If you could save one endangered species from extinction, which would you choose?
Tigers, because they are awesome.
? Are there any laws or social rules that completely baffle you?
Quite a lot, actually. Just go to church. That shit I can't wrap around my head. Specially our brazilia "protestant" churches, with teir 171 practices.
? Would you like to write a book? (About what?)
I've got two on the works, but I'm afraid I won't ever finish them. It's fantasy, involving dragons, of course.
? If you could choose your own life obstacles, would you keep the ones you have?
No. Fucking. WAY.
? Have you ever SCREAMED at someone? (What did they do?)
Yes, I had. We were having an argument. What the hell, have you never screamed at an argument?
? Do you think there’s going to be an anti-technology whiplash, in our lifetime?
I seriously hope not.
? Where + when do you get your BEST IDEAS?
Er...never?
? Have you ever met one of your HEROES?
None that I can think of.
? What’s in your fridge, right this moment?
Barrels of toxic waste. What do you expect, idiot? FUCKING FOOD.
? Can you tell when someone is LYING?
Not really.
? Can you tell when someone is telling the TRUTH?
Same thing. I'm no good at reading people's behaviours. That's why they suck.
? Have you ever pushed your body further than you dreamed possible?
Pushed my body? Wat?
? Are you living your LIFE PURPOSE — or still searching?
I'm searching...but I doubt I'll ever find it.
? Have you ever had to make a public apology? (How come?)
I was dragging this drunken friend of mine and she kept on pestering everyone we passed by, so I apologized for her state. That's the closest thing I can think of.
? What’s the WORST piece of advice you’ve ever been given?
"You should not invest in drawing, because you will earn no money." Well, that turned out to be true, actually. But it kinda shattered the dreams of an eight year-old boy.
? Do you think we’re designed for monogamy? (Why or why not?)
"Designed"? This kinda question reminds me of fucking Bio. Not optimally, no. The ideal, from a biological point of view was to spread the genes around, with many partners, to enhance the chances of survival.
But, as a person, I'd rather have just one partner. Pffff.....as if.
? How do you CELEBRATE your victories?
What victories?
? Would you consider yourself an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert?
I'm beyond introvert. WAY beyond.
? Do you ever hunt for answers or omens in dreams?
Nein.
? Do you think everyone has the capacity to be a LEADER?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...oh, I'm dying.
? Is WAR a necessary EVIL?
Well, to be honest, wars like Worl War Two couldn't be helped. You just can't let a madman take over country after coutry and claim is as their own territory, not to mention the whole Jew question. Supreme race, indeed. Bunch of aryan fuckers, those krauts.
? Are YOU a starter, a finisher, or an implementer?
I'm nothing. I serve for absolutely nothing. Take me out of this firm and see if it does make a difference. NOPE. I'm the ghost in the machine.
? Have you ever unplugged from the Internet for more than a week?
Sure, whenever I'd travelled to that paradise named Itacaré. But that ain't happening no more.
? Do you think we should live like we’re dying?
We're ALL dying, idiot. Each day is a step closer to the fucking grave. Now, "live like you're going to die tomorrow" thing is...hmmmm....idiotic, I suppose. Because we just don't know. And we'll never know when we're going to die. So, live life the way you like. Fuck it.
? Do you have any habits or quirks you wish you could ERASE?
Yes. Smoking, for instance.
? What was the most AGONIZING hour of your life?
The hour I stood by watching a friend of mine sleep forcefully through the use of heavy drugs, used on mental patients. His aunt arrived, and we both sat there, feeling so damn helpless. It was fucking awful.
? Have you ever dramatically changed a habit, or gotten yourself out of a rut? How’d you do it?
Eating too much crappy food and sugar, I guess. I just gave them up.
? Would you rather be a lonely genius, or a sociable idiot?
To be honest, I think the idiots have a better life, so, I'd like to be a fucking idiot but have fun out of life.
? How would YOU fix the economy?
Do I look as a fucking Economy major to you???
? What was your very first JOB?
Same shit I've got today. It just changed here and there, but I was always a fucking pawn, and worse yet, a pawn that's not even on a proper game. Like a pawn on another board game. That's me. Worthless.
? What brings you SHEER DELIGHT?
Oh man, drinking that sweet Irish Coffee I made each morning, when I could still drink.
? Are you highly useful in a CRISIS?
Nope. I panic, easily.
? Do you like to be SAVED — or do the saving?
Neither. I can't be saved, nor save anybody.
? What’s one mistake you keep repeating (and repeating)?
Smoke grass.
? If you were heading out on a ROAD TRIP right this minute, what would you pack?
My Swiss pocket knife. I'm McGyver!
? Do you have any irrational fears?
All of them.
? When you see peers + competitors getting things you want, how do you react?
I get really, really pissed off.
? If you were to die three hours from now, what would you regret most?
This window of time wouldn't allow me to at least try heroin before my death.
? What’s something you’ve tried, that you’ll never, ever try again?
Art School. If you can call that shite art.
? If you could enroll in a PhD program, with your tuition paid in full by a mysterious benefactor, what would you study — and why?
The use of experimental drugs to treat depression, or other brain defects.
? Have you ever had a complete + total nervous breakdown? (How did you recuperate?)
Hell yeah, I've got at least four on my lifetime - two this very own fucking year. I'm under psychiatric treatment, and it seemed to be the right thing...even though I'm not so sure anymore.
? Have you ever set two friends up on a date? (How did it go?)
Never.
? Have you ever questioned your FAITH — or lack thereof?
Yes. Because I don't think there is good and evil entities - they're one and the same. And Hell? Is called Planet Earth.
? What’s your recipe for recuperating from extreme heartbreak?
Do like I do - I've never had one, because i've never had someone to break my heart in the first place.
? Have you ever had a psychic reading? Did you believe it? Was it accurate?
Nope.
? Have you ever (actually) kept a New Year’s Resolution?
Yeah, this very year, I vouched to start excersing again. Took me several months to really get started, but I did get back on the irons.
? Have you ever met someone who was genuinely EVIL?
Hell, yeah! My own brother.
? Do you believe that everyone deserves redemption + forgiveness?
Nope. Not everyone. No.
? What was the BEST KISS of your entire life?
What's that?
? Do you secretly miss Polaroid cameras?
Down here in the jungle called Brazil, we didn't get those cameras.
? Do you have any physical features that you try to cloak or hide? How come?
Well, I gotta hide my tattoos, in order to appear "a normal person"
? What makes YOU so special, anyway? (No, really.)
My self-loathing is rather unique, don't you think?
? What’s in your pocket (or purse, or man-purse) right now?
A lighter.
? Ever fantasize about being in a rock band? What would your group be called?
Sure. We'd be called Unknown Artist, just to fuck up people and their iPods.
? What’s your guiltiest of guilty pleasures?
Nah-ah. I'm not telling. Fuck off.
? Who’s on your panel of imaginary mentors?
Imaginary mentors? Wat?
? Have you ever stolen anything? (Money, candy, hearts, time?)
I've stolen batteries, glue, gum, deodorant, lighters - all last month. It's so easy at 6:00.
? When was the last time you saw an animal in the wild?
Hmmmm....back in 1998, I think. We saw a Lobo-Guará.
? What’s the hardest thing you ever had to write — and why?
The letter of dismissal of someone who was a friend, and turned out not to be. How do you politely tell someone, "I don't want to ever see you again, because you're not a real friend."?
? Who’s the last person that deeply disappointed you? (What happened?)
See question above. That guy was truly a letdown, let me tell you. I've already told all about it on previous posts, so I'm not telling the whole story once again.
? Have you ever won an award? What was it for?
Never.
? How long can you (comfortably) go without checking your emails or texts? How do you feel about that?
Man, I work in front of a fucking computer all day long, then go home to my own computer. I check it all the tima, because I always keep a tab with my email open. And I don't really care.
? What do you deserve + get to receive, no matter what?
I deserve nothing, 'cos I'm fucking no good for nothing.
? What are you ready to set into motion, today?
Get home, workout, sleep. - that's the plan.
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Well, these were a lot less lame than those 800. There you go. Another 100.
