Ack. Fuck this monday. It's just like one of those old days, when I was at a permanent state of anger and frustration. Or maybe it's just because I got up at 3:40 AM and could sleep no more, the 4:20 square was almost fruitless, and all muddy and soaked and filled with nothing.
I dunno. I guess it's only a fucking monday. Another one.
And my mind is empty, I'm out of nicotine patches, I will see if I can survive without them. Either way, today sucks. The only good thing I can predict to happen is that I'll receive my 20 extra kilos of barbells I've ordered. Other than that...I dunno. I just feel awful.
Well, fuck it. I've got a 800 question combo, for times like this. I'll answer to them, a hundred at a time. Let's go:
1) Whats your (full) name?
Marcos Burian Guimaraes.
2) How old are you?
38. Actually, I'm 37. But I always put one forward, to speed up death.
3) Whats your Birthday?
17/09/1977
4) What starsign does that make it?
Virgo.
5) Whats your favourite colour?
Green.
6) Whats your lucky number?
Lucky number? Never had one, will 42 do? After all, it's the answer...to the universe, life and everything else.
7) Do you have any pets?
A cat and a parrot.
8) Where are you from?
From right here, this shit towne of BH.
9) How tall are you?
1 m 76 cm.
10) What shoe size are you?
43.
11) How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Six or seven well-worn boots, worn til unusable.
12) If you were prime miniser/ruler of the world what laws would you make?
This goes for a whole goddamned blog entry. D'you expect me to answer it single-handedly? Nope.
13) If you were a super hero what powers would you have?
Teleportation or the ability to fly would be nice.
14) and what would your hero name be?
Weedman.
15) and what outfit would you wear?
I'd stay naked at home smoking while the world burns.
16) What was your last dream about?
Something with John Cleese on it...that's the last dream I remeber. Live a Monty Python sketch.
17) What would you do if you won the lottery?
Quit this dead-end job, give my boss the middle finger salute and move to Holland.
18) Would you like to build/design your own house?
I'd at least put some ideas of my own on the project.
19) Which form of public transport do you prefer?
Death.
20) What talents do you have?
Er, "no one" is an acceptable answer? No? Then, I'm real good at spotting sunshine out of grass.
21) Can you juggle?
Nope. No way.
22) Can you solve a rubix cube?
Nein, nein, nein, nein!
23) Do you have a cherished childhood teddybear?
Nope.
24) Are you psychic in any way?
Nah.
25) Are you a good dancer?
Definitely NOPE.
26) Are you a good singer?
See previous answer.
27) Are you a good cook?
See previous previous answer.
28) Are you a good artist?
Nope.
29) Are you a good listener?
Yes, I guess.
30) Are you a good public speaker?
Nope.
31) Are you a good babysitter?
Nope. I fucking hate children.
32) Are you a good mechanic?
Sometimes I do my own reapirs around the house...but if you're referring to car mechanics, then no.
33) Are you a good diplomat?
Not at all.
34) Are you a good employee?
Nope. I'm writing these down while I was supposed to be working. Alas, there's no work., so...
35) Are you a good dresser?
Not at all.
36) Are you a good swimmer?
Well, I can swim. But not with grace or resistance. I just don't drown that easily.
37) Are you a good skier?
Never done it.
38) Are you a good lover?
See previous answer.
39) Are you a good musician?
Not much. I can play, but not PLAY, play. I mean, I got no musical theory background or whatever.
40) Are you a good comedian?
If you like sarcastic comments, I'm your man.
41) Are you a good cleaner?
When I needs to be.
42) Are you a good actor?
Nein.
43) Are you a good writer?
Nope. Otherwise I'd be writing, rather than answering these bullshit questions...ah, but it is entertaining.
44) Have you ever been bungee jumping?
Nope and I never will.
45) Have you ever been canoeing/kayaking?
Nope.
46) What types of holidays do you prefer?
The longest ones. Five days off would be ideal.
47) Whats the furthest you've ever been on holiday?
Not that far. Nordeste.
48) What was your favourite holiday?
Anyone, that falls on a fucking working day so I can have that day off.
49) Where would your dream holiday be?
Back at my Tower, with it all finished and refurnished, all by myself, for 500 days.
50) Can you tap dance?
I can't dance whatever you name it.
51) Whats your favourite zoo animal?
No one. First, there should be no fucking zoos. Second, the most interesting animals are always asleep/hidden when you're visiting.
52) Whats your favourite sport?
Used to be surf. Nowadays...none.
53) Whats your favourite food?
Used to be lasagna. Now, I don't know anymore.
54) Whats your favourite pizza topping?
Can't eat pizza no more, so...
55) Whats your favourite film?
"Fight Club"
56) Whats your favourite song?
Once again, 'tsi impossible to determine. It all depends on the day, the hour, the mood, the moon, etc.
57) Whats your favourite alcoholic drink?
I liked Mojitos.
58) Whats your favourite non-alcoholic drink?
There's a non-alcoholic cocktail they serve on Antonio's restaurant at Bahia...can't remember the name, but that would be it.
59) Whats your favourite TV program?
"The IT Crowd"
60) Whats your favourite boyband?
"The FuckNo Boys"
61) Whats your favourite girl group?
"The FuckNo Girls"
62) What would be your ideal partner?
I'm not answering this. Too personal. Fuck off.
63) Do you want children?
NOPE, for Pete's sake, never.
64) Do you want a church wedding?
Ahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahah
65) Are you religious?
Ahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhaahhaha
66) Do you like reality TV programs?
Nope.
67) Do you like TV talent shows?
"Public Humiliation" shows they should be named. I fucking hate them all.
68) If you were gay who would your life partner be?
You mean, if I was straight? Bit of a confusing scene here, being already gay...well, anyways, life partner? There. Is. Not. Such. A. Thing. (not for me, at least.)
69) If you could go back in time to change one thing what would it be?
My choice of major. I'd have done medicine this time, for sure.
70) How many hats do you own?
None...I mean, I got two or three baseball caps...do these count?
71) Are you any good at pool?
Nope.
72) Whats the highest you've ever jumped into the water from?
Don't know, maybe six or seven meters.
73) Have you ever been admitted to hospital?
Yes. Alcoholic issues.
74) Have you ever had any brushes with the law?
They don't know it was me.
75) Have you ever been on TV?
Nope. And it ain't my ambition in any way.
76) Have you ever met any celebrities?
Nope.
77) Have you ever been to Legoland?
Nope.
78) Have you ever done something heroic?
No.
79) Have you ever played a practical joke on anyone?
I did, back on college.
80) Have you ever been the recipiant of a practical joke?
Yes, also in college.
81) What would be your best achievement to date?
Best Achievement? Staying alive(and relatively sane) thru 20 years of severe depression. I suppose you could call it an achievement of sorts.
82) Do you prefer baths or showers?
Showers. More practical.
83) Do you prefer towel drying, blow drying or natural dryin your hair?
I've got a fucking shaved head. One pass of the towel and it's dry.
84) Have you ever built a snowman?
Never seen snow.
85) Have you ever been sledging?
See previous answer.
86) Have you ever flown a kite?
Yeah.
87) What colour socks are you wearing?
Black.
88) If you could live anywhere, where would that be?
Europe. Almost anywhere on the "capitalist" side of Europe. Amsterdam, Prague, Rotterdam...
89) Have you ever been famous?
Nope. And I'm glad for that.
90) Would you like to be a big celebrity?
No!
91) Would you ever go on Big Brother?
Never, ever, EVER, EVER ever Never.
92) How big is your TV?
Dunno. Don't care.
93) What is your most essential appliance?
My PC.
94) What type of music do you like?
Rock'n'roll, baby.
95) Have you ever been skinnydipping?
Nah.
96) How many Pillows do you sleep with?
Three.
97) What position do you often sleep in?
Belly downside, head to the side of the pillow.
98) What do you wear to bed?
Depends. If it's scorching hot, nothing. If it's cold, I dress like a hobo and keep the covers rolled all over me, like a burrito.
99) How big is your house?
Too big, for three people to live in.
100) Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?
Sunsets.
