So, while I try to restrain myself from making an omelet out of my fucking ugly face, let's see the last batch of those fucking questions.
701) What do your parents do?
My dad's a fucking nut that is currently taking a major on law school - as if someone would be enough of a fool to hire such a "lawyer" - a fucking 76 year old lawyer, fresh out of one of those awful universities, no experience at all. Yeh. That's definitely gonna happen.
My mom graduated in Arts, but never had a chance to use her degree to good use, because when things were jumpstarting for her, she made the WORST decision of her life - marry my fuck of a father. Forced her to give up on everything to keep an eye on him, because, frankly, he's a fucking sex deviant psycho who can't see a piece of ass without jumping the fence...And he's stil the same, at the young, tender age of 74. So she became just this- a housewife. Chores upon chores. I feel sorry and sad for her - because I'm totally dependant on her for such "services", and she's already 60. She can't take it anymore. She shouldn't be cleaning the fucking house. She shouldn't have to cook - she would became a kickass ilustrator, but that - literally- motherfucker of a father ruined her life forever.
702) If you were a giant mega monster what city would you rampage?
All of them.
703) Did you ever have a treehouse as a kid?
Yes.
704) Is your dad an embarassing dancer?
My dad is an embarassing EVERYTHING. Just like me.
705) Do you plan to vote in the next election?
Do I have a choice? No. So, I'll go there, punch random numbers and fuck it all.
706) If you could replace one bodypart with a super bionic replacement what bodypart and what features would the new bionic replacement have?
I don't fancy that much. I just like to replace my defective brain for a normal one.
707) What any unusual objects have you swallowed?
Toys, mostly, when I was a kid.
708) When you buy something new do you get a desire to use/play with it even when they dont have any physical application yet?
I get this anxiety, yes.
709) Did you understand the Matrix Trilogy?
I understood that they should have stopped at the first movie.
710) Would you rather be the fella in a movie who gets the girl or the baddie with all the good lines?
I'd prefer to be a motherfucker like Samuel L. Jackson on Pulp Fiction.
711) If you were stinking rich, would you only go to places other rich people went?
Nope. I told you before - if I had enough money, I'd pay all the outstanding debts trashing my family, then reform My Tower, put a big-ass TV/Monitor for films and series, I'd soundproof the whole place to have a studio and would mess around the structure to build a proper gym. And I'd go NOWHERE. The whole world can go fuck itself.
712) Would you rather have a mans top half and a womens bottom half or visa versa?
What the actual fuck kind of question is this?? Fuck off.
713) Rebound relationships, good or bad?
Relationships? What are these?
714) Have you ever owned a slinky?
Slinky(google)? Ah yes, I've got a few - all of them ended up tangled beyond hope.
715) Teenage parents, good bad or indifferent?
HA! A teenage parent? Oh, yeah, a person that is "wise" enough to become a teen parent will make an EXCELLENT parent. So wise not to wrap it up his dick, or not take her birth control pills...very, very wise.
716) Whats the most expensive thing you've ever broken?
An iPhone. But it was already so fucked up, I think I just put it out of its misery.
717) Pirate downloads, good or bad?
Are you fucking retarded? I pirate EVERYTHING and don't give two shits about it.
718) Democracy, good or bad?
If only it worked as designed originally...maybe it would be good.
719) Communism, good or bad?
Yes! Whenever bicycles are broken, or menaced by International Communism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready!
Cut to commentator in garden with earphones on, and in front of microphone, which is on a garden table.
Commentator: Ready to smash the communists, wipe them up, and shove them off the face of the earth...(his voice rises hysterically) Mash that dirty red scum, kick 'em in the teeth where it hurts.
(commentator rises from his canvas chair, and flails about wildly, waving script, kicking over
table, knocking down sunshade) Kill! Kill! Kill! The filthy bastard commies, I hate 'em!
I hate 'em! Aaargh! Aaargh!
Wife(off-screen): Norman!Tea's ready.
He immediately looks frightened, and goes docile.
Commentator:(calmly) Coming dear!
720) Have you ever been electrocuted?
Yes. Fucking beach showers!
721) Have you ever been attacked with a creamy bakery product?
What? No!
722) Have you ever shawn a sheep?
No. The only things I know how to shave are my face and my balls. Good enough?
723) Have you ever accidentally set fire to yourself?
Nope.
724) Have you ever eaten a whole tube of pringles by yourself?
Grab me a joint, a can of cola, and we'll see.
725) Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same gender?
(sigh) Not nearly enough.
726) The war in Iraq, good or bad?
All wars are stupid.
727) The war in Afganistan, good or bad?
See 726.
728) Have you ever appeared on youtube?
Yes, on a homemade video of our horrible band making lots of noise.
729) Have you ever performed in front of a large audience?
Not too large. I'd say 20, tops. Ah, but if you'll include that one time we played Black Crowes to a bunch of old people, that would make a good 200 people. That's it. We've almost got ourselves kicked off the stage that night, ehehehe.
730) Have you ever eaten anything prepared by a celebrity chef?
Nein.
731) Have you ever been on radio?
Nein.
732) Did your school make a teatowel that everyone submitted to?
What kind of nonsense is this?
733) What colour/style was your school tie?
No ties, thankfully.
734) Do you have to wear glasses?
I did...until I got Lasik on both eyes. Best decision ever.
735) Do you bite your nails?
No.
736) Do you prefer male or female singers voices?
Another stupid question. It. All. DEPENDS. On the song. On the Beat. On the type of music being sang. Dumb assholes, who made up these questions.
737) Would you rather be the worlds greatest football player or lover?
I'd say "lover", but it wouldn't make any sense. Since I love nobody at all.
738) Do you get hayfever?
I guess. But it ain't so bad these days.
739) Do you have a list of things to do before your 'x' years old?
Get myself killed before 40.
740) Do you like your age?
NO. Specially on my conditions.
741) Whats your favourite physical thing you like about yourself?
That's easy: nothing.
742) Whats your least favourite physical thing you like about yourself?
Another easy one: everything.
743) Are you proud, comfortable or ashamed of your body?
Ashamed, of course.
744) Whats your favourite personality trait you like about yourself?
None.
745) Whats your least favourite personality trait you like about yourself?
Everything.
746) Do you know html?
Nope.
747) Have you ever flown first class?
Never have, never will.
748) How many languages do you speak?
Two.
749) What are better, violins or pianos?
Listen, imbecile. IT ALL DEPENDS!!! Fuck you.
750) Whats the fastest you've ever driven? (as driver or passenger)
I guess around 80km/h as driver and 180 as an almost dying of fear passenger.
751) What compulsions do you have?
Shopping things I like...and drugs.
752) What makes you angry?
Everything.
753) If you could see any band, which would you like to see?
That's a hard one. I guess I'll go with Swervedriver, being my favourite band and all.
754) Who would you say are more attractive, English or Europeans?
Bitch, listen. It also depends. You, sir, are retarded.
755) What would you say is your favourite album of all time?
"Mezcal Head" - Swervedriver.
756) Do you dislike hairy people?
Don't like too much body hair, no.
757) Are you much of an adventurer?
No way.
758) Do you like your own name?
Nope.
759) Would you ever sign a Prenuptial agreement?
Fiction. Next!
760) How long has your longest ever phone call been?
One hour, I guess. I dunno.
761) Have you ever stolen anything?
Yes.
762) Could you ever have an affair with a married person?
On principle, never. But I've never been put to the test to confirm that...
763) Could you ever split up a couple for one reason or another?
No! Let themselves figure it out. Leave me out of this shit.
764) What is your family christmases like?
"Terrible" would be the approppriate word. I fucking hate 'em.
765) Do you prefer sporty or academic members of the opposite sex?
I don't prefer the opposite sex.
766) How much would it cost to buy your love?
Ha, ha, ha.
767) Who was your least favourite teacher at school and why?
The fucking idiot who graduated and went straight into being a substitute teacher. Motherfucker had no clue on whatever he had to do or teach.
768) If you met a Genie who offered you three wishes, what would you wish for? (more wishes does not count)
Tricky. One, would be a suitcase full of money, all sorts of bills, that always refilled itself every two hours, two, to live in the universe I think I belong to(not this one. Never this one), in the form I think I really am, and three...the one I always wanted by my side to be real.
769) Whats your current Mobile phone model and do you like it?
A Samsung Pocket Lite. It's your basic smartphone, and the cheapest, so it's not that great, specially the touchscreen itself. But it functions, that's enough for me.
770)
771)
772)
773) (The imbecile left these blank.)
774)
775)
776)
777)
778) Have you already thought about your babies names?
Fuck you. No babies.
779) Have you ever been fishing?
Yeah. It sucks!
780) Have you ever had your national flag painted on your face?
Never, thankfully.
781) Do you have any strange body things?
"Things" as in what sense? Imbecile.
782) What was the last social faux pas you made?
Dunno, because I never go to any social events.
783) What makes you nostalgic?
784) Whats the scariest thing you've ever done?
Jump off a high rock into the blue pond, at Serra do Cipó. That's how adventurous I am.
785) What fairy tale character would you most associate with?
The Beast.
786) How much do you tend to swear in public?
I swear all the fucking time, motherfucker. Fuck you.
787) What are your strengths?
None.
788) What are your weaknesses?
All of them.
789) What brand are your trainers?
I wear fucking tractor-like boots, all of the time when I'm out of my Tower. No trainers.
790) If you ruled your own country, who would you get to writer your national anthem?
IF I could bring him back from the dead, Fernando Pessoa.
791) Who is the most intelligent person you know?
My brother "ex-oficium", Rafael Giannetti Viotti.
791) Whats the craziest thing you've ever done for someone?
I'm thinking hard on this one. I really don't know if I ever done anything worth mentioning to someone.
792) How did you get your name?
How the fuck do you think? My parents decided, "This one shall be called Marcos", and that's it.
793) Whats the best piece of advice anyone has ever given you?
"People! What a bunch of bastards!" - Roy Trennenman.
794) If you had to describe yourself as a flavour, what would it be?
Bile bitter.
795) If you had to describe yourself as a car, what would it be?
A 1977 Fiat 147.
796) If you had to describe yourself as an animal, what would it be?
A worm.
797) Do you think laughing at someone elses misfortune is wrong?
Man is evil by nature. Sometimes, even the most disasterous situations becomes fucking funny for those who are NOT experiencing the thing. And yes, as a fucking human piece of shit, I'd done it too.
798) If a loved one was to serenade you, what song would you most like them to sing?
Loved one..ahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha
799) Would you ever let your parents pick out a partner for you?
I don't think they would.
800) Have you ever tried spam? (the meat product)
The brazilian version, yes. Shitty.
There. All 800. There are a couple more on the archive I compiled...I'll get to those later...
