Yeah. Today sucked to high heavens. Nothing improved, in fact, it has gotten worse: rain, traffic, and the mess in between them.
An in this mess, you'll find me, trying to get back home...trying to forget that this very day even existed. At all.
I don't want to punch in these numbers on my desk. Fuck it. Let's kill some time answering a hundred more bullshits:
600) On a scale of 1-10 how random would you say these are?
600. It's also the dumbness factor of these.
601) What is your one major weekness?
I'd say I'm too soft-hearted when I need to be the perfect opposite of that.
602) Whats been the best decision you've made in your life so far?
None.
603) Whats been the worst descision you've made in your life so far?
Get born.
604) What words do you always struggle to spell correctly?
Not sure, but I'm pretty sure that I can write(and spell) a lot better than your average north american dipshit.
605) On a scale of 1-10 how happy would you say you are?
-15 billion billion.
606) On a scale of 1-10 how smart would you say you are?
-16 trillion billion.
607) On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are?
-18 and a half octobillion.
608) On a scale of 1-10 how devious would you say you are?
zero.
609) On a scale of 1-10 how awesome would you say you are?
zero.
610) On a scale of 1-10 how devilsh would you say you are?
2.
611) On a scale of 1-10 how nice/caring would you say you are?
This ain't a straighforward answer. Depends on the people involved. I can not care at all for some people, for instance, those vagabonds entitled "sem-terra", and care a lot about my sister, or my mom.
612) On a scale of 1-10 how bitchy would you say you are?
6000.
613) On a scale of 1-10 how polite would you say you are?
12.
614) On a scale of 1-10 how attractive would you say you are?
Does a black hole count as an answer? Because that's what each eyesocket looks like. Two black holes, that sucks all beauty outside on a 6 km range.
615) If you could be any famous person who would you be and why?
Bill Watterson. Even though he's famous for creating one of the most perfect comics of all time - Calvin and Hobbes - he cares not about money and he's a recluse. I'd die to draw like he does.
616) Whats your favourite animal beginning with the letter A?
Sua ANTA!
617) Whats your favourite item of clothing beginning with the letter B?
I realize now my vocabulary on clothing ain't that great. So, I dunno. Boots?
618) Whats your favourite expletitive beginning with the letter C?
You fucking CUMDUMPSTER!
619) Whats your favourite boys name beginning with the letter D?
Oh man, such cretin questions. I dunno. Degas?
620) Whats your favourite girls name beginning with the letter E?
With all this internet trending on my head, I can only think of Emma.
621) Whats your favourite book beginning with the letter F?
Fight Club.
622) Whats your favourite bodypart beginning with the letter G?
G? A garganta desse cara, que eu queria apertar até matar.
623) Whats your favourite musical instrument beginning with the letter H?
Harp.
624) Whats your favourite song beginning with the letter I?
"In our prime", by The Black Keys.
625) Whats your favourite actress beginning with the letter J?
Jodie Foster.
626) Whats your favourite actor beginning with the letter K?
Kevin Spacey.
627) Whats your favourite film beginning with the letter L?
L.A. Confidential.
628) Whats your favourite tv show beginning with the letter M?
Can't recall of none starting with a M.
629) Whats your favourite game beginning with the letter N?
Can't remember a single one starting with a fucking N...
630) Whats your favourite non alcoholic drink beginning with the letter O?
As if they did not put this here to everyone answer the same shit: orange juice.
631) Whats your favourite food beginning with the letter P?
Petit-pois. I don't even know what the fuck are these, but it's the only food I can think of.
632) Whats your favourite band beginning with the letter Q?
Queens of The Stone Age. Finally, one that actually makes sense!
633) Whats your favourite author beginning with the letter R?
Rubem Braga.
634) Whats your favourite sport beginning with the letter S?
Surf.
635) Whats your favourite job beginning with the letter T?
Coincides with my lost, ever-long lost lifetime dreamjob: Tattoo artist.
636) Whats your favourite mythical creature beginning with the letter U?
I do not have a Monster Guide with me. Go ask my sister, she's got one.
637) Whats your favourite alcoholic drink beginning with the letter V?
No alcohol for patient. Next!
638) Whats your favourite cartoon character beginning with the letter W?
Wile E. Coyote.
639) Whats your favourite word beginning with the letter X?
Xylophone.
640) Whats your favourite city beginning with the letter Y?
The third world. Yorkshire.
641) Whats your favourite country beginning with the letter Z?
It's nobody's favourite country, but you had to squeeze it in, eh? Zimbabwe.
642) Do you get seasick?
Not really.
643) If you discovered a new species of dinosaur what would you call it?
Gimme a break. I'm a fucking biologist. You can't just randomly toss a name on things. You have to consider its Family, Ancestors, common ancestors, and a multitude of factors before naming a new species. That is, if you are a serious scientist. Otherwise, name it Biggus dickus, for all I care.
644) Do you own a paddling pool?
I don't think so. We own no pools at all.
645) What do you consider is the most important piece of furniture in a house?
The guitars.
646) What do you consider is the most important appliance in a house?
The amplifiers.
647) If you could have any celebritys hair whos would it be?
I do have 2007's Britney Spears cut! Ain't it great?
648) Which Celebrity do you find the most annoying?
Well, from our TV, it has to be Luciano Huck. Offseas, I dunno.
649) What potential talents do you think you might have if you worked at them?
At best, but very unlikely, playing the guitar.
650) Who was better, Flipper, Lassie or Skippy?
I only watched Flipper. So...
651) If you could be trained up in any profession of your choice by top professionals what profession would you choose?
Anything involving DNA sequencing and probing. So, a biochemist, I think. (All who know me for sure wouldn't expect this answer, but I wanna think of MONEY, not on fucking "art")
652) If someone elses child was being an annoying little runt would you go tell them off or do something about it?
If I could, I would trip the fucker.
653) Do you believe in kharma?
In a way. But it only works when it's fucking convenient to the fucking universe, it seems. Because there are a lot of complete motherfuckers earning 200k a month or more doing illegal stuff whereas the imbecile here is stuck with a dead-end job forever.
654) Do you believe in revenge?
Only when it's inflicted upon me.
655) Do you believe in fairies?
Nope.
656) Do you believe in a god?
I do sense a superior power, but he/she/it's far different from all scribes. I think he's sadistic, masochistic, ironic and malevolent at most of times.
657) Do you believe there used to be dragons?
What do you mean, "there used to be"? Fuck you. Gideon, burn this motherfucker! Off you go, boy. Come back in time for supper.
658) Who would you want to be with on a desert island?
Nobody.
659) What's the worst show on television?
The fucking office.
660) Who's your favourite god from ancient history?
Mithra.
661) What one device would you want to see added to a mobile phone?
A teleporter.
662) Where do you see yourself in 1 months time?
Right here, probably doing the same thing, eating a bite, sipping on coffee, smoking a fag, smoking sunshine, let it digest before I got on them weights.
663) Where do you see yourself in 1 years time?
See above answer.
664) Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?
I want to be dead. Can I be dead. Let me be dead, please.
665) What was the best thing about your old school?
When I left school.
666) What was the worst thing about your old school?
When I had to go there.
667) If you could change your name to anything what would your new name be?
Finally, a pondering question. Another name...hmmm...ah, it makes no difference, it would be the same loser with another name. Same shit, different name.
668) Do you watch too much tv?
Not at all. I don't even get close to TV.
669) Have you ever planted a tree?
Trees. Marijuana. Lots of it. Ah, sweet memories!
670) Whats the heaviest thing you can lift?
By now, a 10kg bar with 36kg attached to each side.
671) What was the last present you recieved?
I think it was a perfume.
672) Are your ears lobed or attached?
Lobed.
673) How often do you wash your ears?
Everyday? What kind of pig are you?
674) Could you go out with someone who had a child from a previous relationship?
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahha, that I'd like to see, a single gay man ...with a child. Get real.
675) What was your first alcoholic drink?
Those dreadful wines that came out of those 5-liter bottles, at $1,99 on the supermarket.
676) What was your first job?
Same shit I'm doing today, only with different salary and levels of deceit.
677) What was your first car? (or what would you like it to be?)
I'll never own a car.
678) What was your first mobile phone?
"The Unbreakable", Nokia 6210.
679) What is your first proper memory?
I recalled staring at the mirror, pretty close. Looking into my eyes. Dunno why.
680) Who was your first teacher?
Sorry, can't remember her at all. Only the fact that she was a woman.
681) Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
Ilhéus, BA.
682) Who was your first best friend?
Marcelinho, from kindergarten. Haven't heard from him for at least 25 years though.
683) What was your first detention for?
I wasn't wearing socks on a gym day. Fuck you, teacher. Fuck you, school.
684) Whats your strongest voluntary muscle?
It's been said that it is the tongue, isn't it? Or is it just another internet rumour? I'm too lazy to google for it. Figure it out yourselves, if you'd like.
685) Who was your first kiss?
You got that wrong. The appropriate question is "Who will?"
686) What was the first film you remember seeing at the cinema?
ET - The Extra-Terrestrial.
687) What thing that you've made are you most proud of?
Er...nothing? Is that an acceptable answer?
688) Could you ever be someones bodygaurd?
Only if you arm me with a minigun.
689) Michelangelo's David... Masterpiece or filth?
Filth? How dare you! Are you fucking nuts??? The most pérfect sculpture ever, filth??? FUCK YOU.
690) Do you like other people buying you clothes?
Yes, so I don't have to go shopping.
691) Have you ever brought a present for someone that they hated/disliked?
Of course. At work, for example. We had to "gift" those getting married. Each and everyone has to cough up at least a tenner. And I always give, because it's expected of a good employee. But I loathe most of those people, so...
692) What nicknames do you have/have had?
Buriol, Burian, CosMar, CosMarcius, those are the ones that stick. All other ones faded, and I don't even remember them...
693) Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?
Stop calling my dragon imaginary, you fuck. By the way, hope you enjoyed getting charred by this imaginary dragon.
694) Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?
I've seen more than you imagine, been the subject of more tests you can imagine, been the guinea pig for more drugs you can imagine, and yes, I still have them both: a shrink(tomorrow at 9AM) and a psychotherapist as well. And, judging by the way I'm feeling these days, I should anticipate my appointment with a certain Dr Milagres.
695) Have you ever carved a pumpkin?
Nope. We ain't got that tradidion here.
696) Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?
I've been a terrible influence on one of my dearest friends, and it has cost me dearly.
697) Do you prefer giving or recieving gifts/help etc
I'd rather receive them, thank you very much.
698) If you were a member of the spice girls, what would your spice handle be?
What the hell! Go fuck yourself with a lamp post!
699) If you were to become a famous singer, what would your debut album be called?
Unknown Album, just to fuck up people with iPods.
700) If you could join any music group which would you want to join?
Swervedriver, for sure.
Fuck me, I took a break to get back home, and now it's 7 PM.
I fucking hate this daytime(light?) savings bullshit.
