...and there are these mornings, when you suddenly realize that no matter what you do, you'll end up making an ass of yourself. Mornings in which you just know that no matter what you propose yourself to do, things to change and so on, no matter what you want to do, you just have that omniscient feeling of impending doom at the end.
I'm having one of such mornings today. The feeling of helplessness is strong, and it appeared due to such trivial thoughts to the normal part of mankind, such as the old realization that people are jerks, and will always be, no matter what you do. When you realize that even your family act like demeaning assholes, you know you're in for even worse surprises down the road, dealing with other assholes worldwide. Jerks who think you'll get better if they yell at you, pricks that think that you will react just like they do whenever criticized, dicks that think you'll spin into action if they just berate at you.
Mornings like these, it just makes me wish that suddenly everyone just blew the fuck away, no matter how gruesome this might sound.
Then again, I'm rational enough to realize that I'm a jerk just like they are. I just get mad at them because I just can't understand their modus operandii, their way to deal with life's adversities and the most palpable kind of hell ever invented - other people.
Sometimes, I imagine myself being analyzed by other folks at times, and whenever I do, I just know this for a fact: I'm an asshole just like they are. Because I do have a lot of wonderful skills but no guts to try and make them work out for me; because I do have a lot in my hands and I just contemplate it with no idea whatsoever on what I should do. Because I'm not married at my age; because I'm no good at flirting, blah blah blah, and so on.
And this realization, this notion of everyone's asshole-ism should propel me to act, to try to do something about it, but then again, why bother?
Everyone will remain just selfish bastards forever. Me included. Everyone will prevail, because each one of us are just like this: my opinion is the best, my religion is the righteous one, my team is better than yours, my car is bigger and better and faster.
And they ask me why the hell I think people are solitary. Doomed to die alone. Live alone.
We do. We are alone, because we're the kings of the world, each and everyone of us. And fuck those who don't think like we do. They're wrong, they're dicks. Assholes. Asshats. Jerks. Even if we're attached to someone, we're just trying to prove that we're better than them. It's a race, a race to prove that our opinion is better, that our car is faster, that my brand is more fashionable that his, that her house is bigger than his, and so on.
We're all wrong. Just like that. And if there is a deity looking over us somewhere, anywhere, anytime, whatever, it might be just laughing at us. Maybe not out of sarcasm or despite, but it must be laughing at us and all our wrongful notions and beliefs.
Ah, what the fuck. Who will ever know the truth?
Onward, my fellow assholes. We're all in the same boat, in the same planet. And we're all just dicks.
I'm having one of such mornings today. The feeling of helplessness is strong, and it appeared due to such trivial thoughts to the normal part of mankind, such as the old realization that people are jerks, and will always be, no matter what you do. When you realize that even your family act like demeaning assholes, you know you're in for even worse surprises down the road, dealing with other assholes worldwide. Jerks who think you'll get better if they yell at you, pricks that think that you will react just like they do whenever criticized, dicks that think you'll spin into action if they just berate at you.
Mornings like these, it just makes me wish that suddenly everyone just blew the fuck away, no matter how gruesome this might sound.
Then again, I'm rational enough to realize that I'm a jerk just like they are. I just get mad at them because I just can't understand their modus operandii, their way to deal with life's adversities and the most palpable kind of hell ever invented - other people.
Sometimes, I imagine myself being analyzed by other folks at times, and whenever I do, I just know this for a fact: I'm an asshole just like they are. Because I do have a lot of wonderful skills but no guts to try and make them work out for me; because I do have a lot in my hands and I just contemplate it with no idea whatsoever on what I should do. Because I'm not married at my age; because I'm no good at flirting, blah blah blah, and so on.
And this realization, this notion of everyone's asshole-ism should propel me to act, to try to do something about it, but then again, why bother?
Everyone will remain just selfish bastards forever. Me included. Everyone will prevail, because each one of us are just like this: my opinion is the best, my religion is the righteous one, my team is better than yours, my car is bigger and better and faster.
And they ask me why the hell I think people are solitary. Doomed to die alone. Live alone.
We do. We are alone, because we're the kings of the world, each and everyone of us. And fuck those who don't think like we do. They're wrong, they're dicks. Assholes. Asshats. Jerks. Even if we're attached to someone, we're just trying to prove that we're better than them. It's a race, a race to prove that our opinion is better, that our car is faster, that my brand is more fashionable that his, that her house is bigger than his, and so on.
We're all wrong. Just like that. And if there is a deity looking over us somewhere, anywhere, anytime, whatever, it might be just laughing at us. Maybe not out of sarcasm or despite, but it must be laughing at us and all our wrongful notions and beliefs.
Ah, what the fuck. Who will ever know the truth?
Onward, my fellow assholes. We're all in the same boat, in the same planet. And we're all just dicks.
