Yeah, I was right. Bull's eye. This day, sucks. And it will continue to suck.
My psychologist came up again with all that bullshit, "You are so intelligent, you should try some of these "concursos públicos" and--"
I interrupted her there. Intelligence has GODDAMNED NOTHING to do with those awful tests. NOTHING AT ALL. I've seen it, Rafael's seen it, and won't let me lie - it proves FUCKING NOTHING. Just sort out those full-on retarded cassette recorders people, who memorized all those fucking laws and bullshit, and know it from heart, because he's been doing nothing but this - memorizing bullshit, to the letter.
Do you see intelligent people at the town hall? Or anywhere there's a "repartição pública"? No, you don't. You see the scum of the universe. Those people who leave the phone off the hook because they don't want to work. They do that! Imagine an employee, an ACTUAL employee of some private enterprise doing the same. He'd be fired on the spot, no questions asked, get the fuck outta here!
So, here I am. Between carrying on the torch of being an even less worthy employee than those public bastards, or...joining them. Have classes overnight. Tape 'em, listen to 'em a thousand times, and it won't be enough for me to pass on such a thing.
I'd rather keep on being the deadweight around here, thanks. No fucking way I'll do that shit, ever again. I repeat - it was just a waste of fucking 3000 bucks, for absolutely NOTHING. No refunds, not even ANY useful knowledgecould be scooped from that dreaded process. Night after night, and saturdays too. Even some sundays. NO. FUCK OFF.
Am I angry? Yeah, that's fucking right, I am. Pissed off, very much, thank you for noticing, and keep your distance, for your own safety, because I feel an almost uncontrollable urge to punch someone.
Man, fuck this shit. Fuck it all to fucking hell. I can almost feel the conversation between the makers, or maker, or God, whoever the FUCK you worship. Could be a fucking kettle, the results woud be the same:
"- What about this one? What will we do to him?
- Oh, he'll have some useless talents like being able to scrawl and call it "art" and make noises on a guitar and call it "music".
- That's it? We won't provide him with any SUSTAINABLE skills?
- No...imagine all the laughs we won't share seeing this imbecile struggling through life. Oh, and make him gay too -- that will be even funnier."
I ate cheese today. I did. In hopes of a fucking stroke that never came. Maybe I ate too little, and now the rest of the ants here have already devoured it so I'll have to wait until I try another death by cheese.
Imagine the headlines: Fucking faggot dies of eating a wheel of mozzarela.
That would be a laugh to them, I can guarantee it. Whoever's watching this fucking videogame that is our lives. We're "The Sims" to them. "Burn him! Ahaahhahahaha!"
And what's worst - these sadists, or sadist in charge, gave me these fucking pills, pink gay fucking pills, that made me feel fucking good for two weeks, and then I'm back to being this shitty asshole. I deserve to die. I want to die. That's why I won't quit smoking cancer sticks - maybe I'll at least accelerate the whole thing.
In fact, I'm off to poison myself some more.
Man, fuck this day.
