Yesterday, I was angry, very angry, and did not know the reason. Today, I'm just bored. So fucking bored, I'll once again do the whole "questions" thingie. These ones I found in a site that claims they're great "to break the ice" and "get to know someone better". Well, let's see.
1. Who is your hero?
Vincent Van Gogh. Not only because of his work, which I find fantastic, but because of his personal history - I can relate to him on several levels.
2. If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
3. What is your biggest fear?
Ironically, it is to die alone and in poverty, living in a shithole after my parents die and my own brother gets all the money. Want to add some misery? Maybe it's gonna happen in front of computer porn.
4. What is your favorite family vacation?
They go on a trip somewhere far, far away, and I'll have the house for myself.
5. What would you change about yourself if you could?
Be less of a coward.
6. What really makes you angry?
Man, do you got a pen? There's a whole list of things that pisses me off. Mostly because of people, that bunch of bastards.
7. What motivates you to work hard?
Honestly? Money. The more money involved, the more energy I'll spend. Guess why I'm answering question on this time(2:53 PM, fuck, the time freezes over here) of a working day? Don't pay me enough...I won't do anything enough. And I don't give a shit about it.
8. What is your favorite thing about your career?
That I haven't got one, nor ever will have, from the onset of things going on in my life.
9. What is your biggest complaint about your job?
Bitch, I got a lot of complaints: I don't get paid enough, there is NO way of progressing in this shitjob, and even trained monkeys could do what I do.
10. What is your proudest accomplishment?
Er...none?
11. What is your child's proudest accomplishment?
Wait, are you asking me if I have kids, is that it? HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
12. What is your favorite book to read?
"Lullaby", by Chuck Palahniuk.
13. What makes you laugh the most?
British humour, mostly. I think they are way more funny than those idiotic north american jokes, or films.
14. What was the last movie you went to? What did you think?
Man, haven't been to a cinema in ages...let me think...yeah, it was "The Hobbit - The Desolatio of Smaug" - I liked it, but I'm annoyed too. They're just padding up a story that could have been told in two films, tops, and adding all those weird elements, like fucking Legolas in "The Hobbit"? WTF?
15. What did you want to be when you were small?
Someone that eearned money through art. Well, that's a fucking shattered dream now, to be sure.
16. What does your child want to be when he/she grows up?
Man, I got no kids. Thankfully, I dodged that bullet. Anyone who wants kids, to me, is a bit of a whacko. Do you really want to look over such a pathetic thing, that can do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING without adult help? Do you want to sleep at night? Then don't have kids! Do you want to get laid? Don't have motherfucking kids! And furthermore, inserting another person on this fucking already overpopulated world should be considered a crime. I'm telling oyu, 85% percent or more of the Earth's population gotta DIE on a plague or something, to keep this thing rolling smoothly.
17. If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be?
I'm a simple man. Just let me be home, preferrably without my family around. Just that.
18. What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play?
My favourite sport used to be surf...but nowadays, I got nothing on sports. To be honest, I find all of them extremely boring and stupid.
19. Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car?
A car, obviously. It's the most comfortable of these choices. You can say "fuck off" to the radio and listen to your MP3 player...bikes, to be honest, I don't even know how to switch gears on them. Horses? Fuck those animals to HELL. I fucking hate riding horses.
20. What would you sing at Karaoke night?
I doubt they'd have it on their playlist, but "Mercado Central" by PexbaA would be my choice.
21. What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most?
I'd rather listen to fucking nothing than to turn on the radio, if that was my only choice of music available.
22. Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house?
I'd do the dishes, obviously.
23. If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work?
Well, my mum keep pestering me to be a fucking gardener, whereas I fucking hate gardens. I'd rather have a nice concrete patio that a garden. So, I'd hire a gardener so she'd just shut up.
24. If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Believe me, I am close to doing that already. Everyday, a shitload of salad, integral rice with beans, and a grilled chicken breast. That's all I am allowed to eat at that restaurant, anyway.
25. Who is your favorite author?
Chuck Palahniuk.
26. Have you ever had a nickname? What is it?
Buriol, CosMar....everytime they ask this same lame question....
27. Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not?
Well, now it all depends if it is a nice surprise or a horrible one, isn't it? I love nice surprises and hate the horrible ones.
28. In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read?
Drink a cup of joe, smoking a fag, while stuffing myself with bread and cream cheese, then I'd hit them irons, then I'd maybe watch part of a movie or something, until I can't get no more, and go to sleep. And sometimes, I play guitar while digesting.
29. Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why?
No man, no. On vacations I don't want to travel. I just want to stay home. That's all.
30. Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why?
Of course, winning the lottery. Because the odds of that happening and working on my dream job are basically the same: ZERO.
31. Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island?
Now that's tricky. If you are referring to "the special someone" that everybody is supposed to happen, sorr, but I haven't found this person(and I think I never will) yet. So, just leave me alone there. It's enough.
32. If money was no object, what would you do all day?
After I sorted out the mess my house is, all leakages and worn out stuff, I'd have the perfect attic for myself, then I'd stay home purchasing vintage guitars online. Or anything that I wanted to buy.
33. If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to?
1996. Then I'd find myself, slap me on the face, and say to me: "You fuck, DON'T PICK BIOLOGY OVER MEDICINE, you stupid motherfucker."
34. How would your friends describe you?
How the fuck should I know? I'm not in their heads, and it's never been a topic on conversations.
35. What are your hobbies?
Nowadays? The fucking gym, I suppose.
36. What is the best gift you have been given?
Everybody know it's my Gideon. My pet dragon.
37. What is the worst gift you have received?
My oldest sister, gaveme once a shirt that was the most horrible thing I'd ever seen. It's like an ordinary t-shirt, but with that fucking collar of a buttoned shirt. I never even took it out of the box, ever. I threw it away some time ago, box and everything. Not that I don't appreciate her effort; but it was simply hideous, and had to be destroyed.
38. Aside from food, water, and shelter, what one thing could you not go a day without?
That's fucking easy, my chap. Tobbacco.
39. List two pet peeves.
People, and too many people.
40. Where do you see yourself in five years?
If I don't die till then, I'll be on this same fucking chair, doing the exact same shitjob with no career perspective, just killing off these awful nine hours I spend on this shithole. And probably, with the same fucking low payment.
41. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
About 6 well-worn boots, and one pair of snickers.
42. If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have?
Either flight or teleportation would be enough.
43. What would you do if you won the lottery?
See answer to question 32.
44. What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.)
Well, we only got the fucking bloody buses, so that's it. Not that I prefer it, but I'm fucking forced to use them.
45. What's your favorite zoo animal?
An animal that's not on a fucking zoo. Zoos are quite imbecilic. Who the fuck thought of those things? "Let's trap wild animals, remove them from their natural environments and show them to people." - what a fucking asshole.
46. If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be?
I told you already. Iwouldn't pick fucking biology as my major, but medicine. Maybe I'd be someone, a normal person then.
47. If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be?
That's easy. Richard Ayoade, Chris O'Dowd, Katherine Parkinson and Grahan Lineham. The three main characters of "The IT Crowd" and its creator. I'd love to discuss my favourite brtish comedy since Monty Python with them.
48. How many pillows do you sleep with?
Three.
49. What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)?
Three weeks. I don't know why. I just couldn't sleep. I guess it was all effects of my mind degrading over the wrong meds I was taking back then.
50. What's the tallest building you've been to the top in?
Pffff. In this shit town? No taller than 30 stories. And I've never been there, because it's also know as a "verticla slum" - The JK Building.
51. Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence?
This question is fucked. I'm not answering this shit.
52. How often do you buy clothes?
Not often, but I broke the general rule this december....but I think that, after that shopping spree, I'm not getting anything in the next few months.
53. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
If I did, he/she didn't let me know.
54. What's your favorite holiday?
Carnaval. It's long enough, even though this FUCK of a company insists on making us work on the wednesday of said week, from 12 PM till 5. Assholes.
55. What's the most daring thing you've ever done?
Me? Daring? Nothing, I suppose.
56. What was the last thing you recorded on TV?
Don't watch TV. I've got the internet for that. Netflix, imbecile! Ever heard of it??
57. What was the last book you read?
"The Silence of the Lambs"
58. What's your favorite type of foreign food?
I'm pretty restricted, now that I take these meds that might kill me if I eat the wrong thing. I'd say something involving chicken and curry.
59. Are you a clean or messy person?
Definitely messy.
60. Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life?
This shit life I got? Wouldn't turn into a movie, never. So, nobody.
61. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
Around 45 minutes, I'm very slow in the morning.
62. What kitchen appliance do you use every day?
Er...knives and forks? You know, when I eat? What a stupid question.
63. What's your favorite fast food chain?
Subway.
64. What's your favorite family recipe?
My mum makes a pretty kickass Czech goulash, but I don't even know if I can eat that anymore. Y'know, Parnate and tyramine, they don't mix well.
65. Do you love or hate rollercoasters?
Never been to one, and never will. I hate that feeling of sheer terror and panic.
66. What's your favorite family tradition?
Keeping me living with them yet.
67. What is your favorite childhood memory?
The day I got a monster of a truck from my father. That truck was awesome.
68. What's your favorite movie?
"Fight Club", hands down.
69. How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out?
I honestly don't remember. Someday I just got asked what I wanted for xmas. I answered, and got it. So, I guess I just connected the dots, I dunno.
70. Is your glass half full or half empty?
Half empty, and it's piss inside.
71. What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love?
What is this "love" you are talking about?
72. What three items would you take with you on a deserted island?
Three items? Well, the largest Swiss Army Knife in existence, with 13334564 functions, a very, very, large suitcase full of sunblock, and another one for...(censored) material.
73. What was your favorite subject in school?
That fucking, good-for-nothing, biology.
74. What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten?
I'm not well-travelled...so I guess it would be Capivara's meat. Feels like you're eating a giant rat.
75. Do you collect anything?
Yeah, dragons. But I'm not obsessed with them though. I already have the most precious of them all, Gideon.
76. Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion?
Fedoras. Hats. Specially now that I'm this skinhead walrus.
77. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
I'm way beyond introvert. They should name "Buriovert" after me.
78. Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest?
I guess it's taste.
79. Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise)
Nope.
80. Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous?
Not that I know of. My great-grandfather was somewhat of a "legend" on World War I, but I don't know his name nor if that information's actually accurate, you know, moms telling tales...they might not be true. But I do know that his journal is in a museum in Prague.
81. What do you do to keep fit?
Don't eat too much fat, nor sugar. And keeping on exercising helps too.
82. Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken?
Nah, they're not that important or creative.
83. If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce?
"I will state that 85% of you needs to go - so underneath your seats, you'll find a questionnaire. And if you didn't bring a pencil, then you're OUT!"
84. Who was your favorite teacher in school and why?
85. What three things do you think of the most each day?
"People! What a bunch of bastards!" - "How the fuck have my life derailed so much?" - "Man, I'm fucking bored."
86. If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
"Keep Away - for your own safety."
87. What song would you say best sums you up?
"Duress", by the glorious Swervedriver.
88. What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee?
Does it have to be on a fucking Starbucks? Can't it be on somewhere like, a Paris Café? So, no fucking Starbucks. I'd like to meet up with Sir Ian Gallagher on a french Café. He must have a lot of stories to tell.
89. Who was your first crush?
Nobody. I don't believe in that crap, you see someone and then, "click" - Magic!
90. What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window?
None of them has any interesting features to look at...a bunch of fancy buildings on my office window, and a bunch of leaves from the tree that covers our yard, from the kitchen window. So, nothing special.
91. On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are?
I'm not funny. I might look funny, specially now that I'm this mix of a nerd with a skinhead. To answer your question, I'd say 3 or 4.
92. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Please, let me be dead. I'm sick of this godawful life and my unstable head. Can't take 10 more years of this shit.
93. What was your first job?
I was nothing in this very company, then I turned to be office boy, which is pretty much the same, and then I turned into nothing again, on accounts. Then I quit, had my ass handed to me by my crushed dreams, got back into being nothing in this company yet again.
94. If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join?
Swervedriver, hands down.
95. How many languages do you speak?
Two. English and portuguese.
96. What is your favorite family holiday tradition?
Yeah, we don't have those.
97. Who is the most intelligent person you know?
Again? I've told you, It's Rafael. Giannetti. Viotti.
98. If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be?
A fucking platypus. An aberration of nature.
99. What is one thing you will never do again?
I hope I never get to see the Ogre again, and have all those fucked up, stupid arguments with him.
100. Who knows you the best?
Gideon. Because he is me, and I am him.
Well, that helped at least, because I've wrote the 15 last answers here from my Tower. And had two nice surprises, one, that Centauro has finally delivered all my shit, and that my credit card arrived. I'm staring at the envelope, a bit afraid of it. My previous experiences with credit cards turned out sour.
Thus we endeth this very essay on boredom.
