4 Fucking AM 'o clock.

                                                                              "Blue"

Yellow circus left the stakes a broken ropes world's useless mug
The ties that bind, ha ha
I can be bad poet
Street poet
Shit poet
Kind poet too

Subway
Almost 4AM
Halloween night
Had enough to drink to make my own party
All my fellow writers in half costume, half asleep
Half silly, gone to seed

I don't mark my time with dates, holidays, faded wisdom, locked karma holders
Convenient

I am made by my times
I am a creation of now
Shaken with the cracks and crevices
I'm not giving up easy
I will not fold
I don't have much
But what I have is gold

I saw your face...

I sing in platinum
I dress in brass
I eat in zinc
Let it pass

Compare a toast
I like that
I understand courage
I still roll with the shout of a character I was married to today
I try to see outside myself
I understand the eyes
Excuse all the highs
Sorry
I am sorry
Ha ha

I like you, love you, every coast of you.
I've seen your eddies and tides and hurricanes and cyclones.
Low ebb tide and high, full moon.
Up close and distant.
I read you.
Look, the sky, the sea, the ocean, the sun, the moon.
Blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue blue, blue, blue, blue, blue.
Naked and blue.

Breathing with you. Touch. Change. Shift. Allow air. Window open. Drift. Drift away. Into now.

I want Whitman proud. Patti Lee proud. My brothers proud. My sisters proud. I want me. I want it all. I want sensational. Irresistible.

This is my time and I am thrilled to be alive.

Living. Blessed. I understand.

Twentieth century:
Collapse Into Now

Cinderella boy
You've lost your shoe

Cinderella boy
Your coach awaits

A sun makes shadows
All over your face
As you sit
Naked and blue
Into me

I have found another factor to be wide awake at this dead hour. Yeah, I've been up since 3:45, to be exact. Fucking mosquito somehow invaded my net, and the fucking bastard can't be found. Normally, I'd just get up, fetch one of those famous chinese "electric racquet" to blast the fucker away, but my fucking racquet has just disappeared. I've looked everywhere, and there's no sign of the damned thing. Maybe I shoved it up my ass. Ha, ha, ha.

Anyways, it made me remind of this song lyrics, one of the best songs on REM's final album, "Collapse into now" - which is rather good. A fine farewell, I'd say. And this song in particular features backing vocals by another Rock'n'roll legend - Patti Smith.

I guess today's gonna be hell to pay for this insomnia. I'm not taking a fucking Rivotril. I chose to be fucking awake. Wide awake now, thanks to this delicious coffee. I recommend. Café Das Vertentes, 18 bucks a pop for 500g. Fucking Verdemar. I'm gonna miss being able to go there once we move offices. 

Oh yeah, there's this talk going at the office - that we will be relocated to yet another building bought off by the Family. The multi-million family. The billion family, if you will. I know, just know that they got way more than just one billion, net-worth. 

(Sigh) It's rather frustrating, y'know. Like I said, I know my boss is indeed a good friend and businessman - he did protect me from being jobless when I had my mental breakdowns along this shit, shit, fucking shitty year. All I ask for is a little bit more money on my salary - but no good. "We don't have jobs for a fucking biologist," it's what I've heard, from the Big Boss, the Big Cheese himself. Like if they'd pay me even $500 more would break them down. This fucking empire. Like it would make any difference on their Swiss accounts - I bet they have at least some money locked up there, I just bet it.

My boss himself, he has recently acquired an estate on Portugal, and he's moving there soon. Why? Because he can do whatever he wants, just like that. Money will grant you that power.

The biggest lie of mankind? "Money don't purchase happiness." Yeah, right. Sure. Fcuk the fucking fucker who came up with that saying. Like our great Leonardo Noscario would say on "The Wolf Of Wall Street" - "There's no nobility in poverty." Indeed. It doesn't make you a great man. Just the perfect opposite - it turns you into a fucking no-one.

A fucking no-one. That's me, wide awake at 4:30 now. Popping three Parnate into my mouth now. Now, no sleep is guaranteed, for it's one of the major side effects of this miracle pill. Insomnia. 

Ah well, fuck it all. I can't change the fucking past, can't go back to 1996 and bitch-slap me for choosing fucking Biology as a major. Biology! What the FUCK was I thinking??? I swear, this kind of thing does not work. Choosing your career at such an early age. And what's even wors - later on, I left my job - at the empire itself - to try a major in...fucking Art. Art. Why, oh why, my world. Like one of my former colleagues off Bio said, "Man, you are making your life even worse. Art??"

And indeed, it did. Not only I was fucking unable to complete such a BULLSHIT major, where they call "art" a bunch of trash in a corner, and some imbecile saying that it represent chaos, and the world nowadays. No shit, Sherlock. You should include yourself in the piece as well, for you are TRASH as well. Motherfucker. 

Oh well, enough bitterness for such a dead hour. I'll be leaving soon, to check on the narcotics square, then I'm off to "work". 

At least it's friday, and we'll have a holiday by monday. Cheers for that. I raise my glass to this occasion - 3 day weekend. We definitely need more of those...

Well, I'm off. Let's see what I'll get.