Well, I'm still here, even though I thought that maybe I wouldn't survive the weekend.
Too many bad happenings and thoughts...too many dark thoughts.
But I've arranged a way to see the good ol' "Dr. Miracles" in that very friday.
Told him about everything, even the "breakup" betwwen friends I had...
He upped the dosage og the Parnate, and Pamelor, anyways.
Truth is, I've found out - way too late - that I've been using out of date lithium. Free samples I got from my previous psychiatrist. Dumb fucker, should've learned to read them dates a long time ago...
Well, thanbkfully, amongst the many free samples boxes were some not too bad - they say it's safe to use out of date meds for six months after its due date. Talk about right timing, because, once again, I've got my hands on my money, my first half of the 13th and the rest - and now I got less than 10 bucks at the bank.
Being broke, it sucks. And what's worse - I've found out a new way to get into debt without many trouble...just use your mother's credit card! And I did, a lot. I've bought not only weights and bars, but clothes as well, to replace some of the rags I wear. Me, buying clothes, now that's a fucking miracle.
Anyways, I'll be able to balance them payments of everything I bought, even though it's gonna leave me fucking broke for a whole year. Yeah. Like I needed that.
Anyways, screw it. I needed what I bought. Like socks, for example. All my fucking socks I got back home, the majority of them are fucking ruined heels. So I went overboard and purchased a lot of...60 pairs of fucking socks. Yeah. And twelve new boxers as well. The underwear department is quite fucked up too, in my current wardrobe.
Well, anyways, everything I've been buying found out a good use. Like the "Larry Scott" bench, at first I regreted buying it, but then, when I used it properly...Great Scott! It is fucking hard to lift using that thing, let me tell ya. But it works. And all the barbells and whatnot are always useful on my dusty attic, now "Dusty's Gym" would be an appropriate name.
Besides that, I found myself creating music over lyrics my sister made. Not too great, but hell yeah, it made me feel good, because it was as if the music just kept on coming, from outer space or wherever. We will continue this project, I swear. Not if it is just for the both of us' sake.
Anyways, it's just too soon to see how the increased dosage's effects on me, but I guess I feel better already, having removed a burden off my life for good, that felt good...even if the burden used to be a friend. Well, his loss, mine too, I must admit. But it had to be done.
And today...I've sponsored a robbery. At least, that's what I think it happened. I went to the famous square(not going on relentlessly like I did before), checked out for 10 minutes and went to the bus stop. Nearby, there was this guy...well...you know, sometimes you see this type of fella and know it right away - a fucking thief. He asked me for weed. No good, mate. Then he asked me for a fiver to "buy us some weed." Yeah right. Nope. I offered to pay for his bus fare, since I got nearly 800 bucks worth of bus' fares in there - so I paid him his fare, he goes to back of the bus, I stay up front. When I got downtown, and off the bus...the same guy came out running like hell, and from what I heard from inside the bus, he robbed someone. Son of a bitch.
And now...all I 've got to do is wait until my "presents" arrive. I guess now I can see the dangers of owning a credit card. I've bought so much, the store called me to confirm if indeed those were MY purchases, not a scam or anything else. Yes sir, I've bouth a shit load of things on your so-called "black friday", which extended for until yesterday. And they sold, let me tell you, it was just impossible to find a thing that suited you. No, we ain't got this on black no more. No, we don't have it on medium size. No, we don't have it on 44. Blah blah blah.
Consumer! I'm a fucking consumer, yes I am.
At least, I think I'll be able to handle it...but 2015 is bound to be a moneyless year, worse than this. If only they've raised our salaries...
Dream on, dream on. No way. You're just "the dead weight we carry" kind of employee. No good for a fucking raise.
Oh well. Fuck it. I'm full of debt, but living large!
Living large, oh yeah. As if.
