Here I am, up earlier than most birds. As usual, I awake somewhere between 5-6 AM. Well, I woke up, it was dark still, I checked the clock, 5:27. "Well, I guess I should get up." Then I went to the toilet/kitchen of my luxurious "apartment", and started to make my coffee, but then I went, "I should take a piss first."
I turned to the toilet.
And froze.
There was...a fucking FROG inside the bowl.
Now, I've seen a lot of crap in that toilet, but THAT was unexpected. and Worse, the thing was indeed very much alive, for it saw me and started waddling. Even worse, I've awakened in the middle of the night to take a piss, and fuck lights, I sat down there and did my business.
I don't know if IT was already there.
All I know is that I was shocked, in utter shock. Ten years living up here, there was nothing that would top that happening, except for the "haunted attic" episodes, but,,,but...
A frog. A fucking FROG. Alive, and swimming in my piss.
Yeah, "What the fuck?!" indeed. I kid you not, that was my only thought that came to mind.
I stood there for a few seconds....And did the only thing I could do.
I flushed it down, piss and all. And surely, it went down the pipes. But the question remains, "How the FUCK did IT even got there? Can frogs swim up pipes? Can....what....eh....uh.....WTF????
Yeah, I got nothing.
I just went to our modern times guru of knowledge, Google, and searched for "frog symbolism". Here's what I got:
Frog Symbolism
The symbolism of the frog appears in many traditions around the globe. This animal is generally associated with the water element and its cleansing attributes. The frog is symbolic of:
- Cleansing
- Renewal, rebirth
- Fertility, abundance
- Transformation, metamorphosis
- Life mysteries and ancient wisdom
Cleansing, swimming in piss, it doesn't add up. Renewal, rebirth. Well, my shock was great, but not enough to renew me. Fertility, abundance? Imagine a horde of frogs coming out of your toilet. Is that fertility? Transformation, metamorphosis. Yeah, I turned into stone, in shock for a few minutes. Life mysteries, yeah, that you've got right.
It is a fucking mystery. And I can assure you, it was the weirdest way of beginning a new day. Even Gideon could not believe.
The website that I've copied that definition of its symbolism, even had a quiz, to find out what's your "spirit animal" - so I took the quiz, already afraid it might show that it could be the frog. It turned out to be...a deer. Very accurate for a queer, I suppose. Nothing about frogs.
But reading further in "Frog" section, it says lots of things about detox, taking more care of my health, it's related to changes in my life that I gotta do, "familiarity with the unknown(?)," and that I might be "at ease with the world of intuiton, feminine energies"(ahahahahahaha), and "the magic of nature and the elements."
Well, all I can think of, that maybe it was indeed a sign, at least on the health department. I should quit smoking, I suppose. Because a fucking frog seemed to have appeared out of thin air...into a piss-filled toilet bowl.
Yeah. The third day of this very year, and that weird shit happened. Maybe....er...no, I just keep on thinking, "What the FUCK was that?!"
I suppose it's a surprise that I needed to be fully awake by now, after said shock.Other than that, it'll remain a mystery. I got no answers for that, where the FUCK did that thing came from?!
Yeah. I got nothing. I just hope it's not a signo of the times, that maybe it will start raining frogs, like that infamious and frankly retarded, outdated piece of shit literature, "The Good Book" was talking about. Isn't there a passage of frogs raining down from the skies, a sign of "god"'s wrath or some shit like that?
I dunno. I got nothing. I am just glad that I did not take a crap with the lights out on top of this thing.
I think it's gonna be a weird, weird, day. That's what I think.
