Weird post title? Well, it seems so. But it's how 2015 has begun to me. Last night, I didn't want to get involved in any sort of celebration, because I had nothing to celebrate. Maybe, if 2014 was a person and died, then I'd be sure to be at the funeral service, only to spit on its face. REAL spit, with all the mucus I could spit. Added by the dark phlegm my lungs keep on expelling. Fuck you, 2014. And then I'd piss all over the casket, and took a dump on its fucking face. Now that'd be an event. I wouldn't miss it for the world.
But it just the same old shit of every year, that fake party, fake smiles, fake wishes. The same old wish, "Happy new year!"
So, what did I do? I've balled up little balls of toilet paper and shoved them on me ears, tthen put earplugs on top of it.
And now, I'm half deaf, because the TP on my left ear has decided he liked my ear, "Well, this seems to be a nice place to live..." And got stuck on my ear canal.
Yeah, I know. My mistake. The very first one of many to come for another 12 months. Off to a great start, eh?
Well, at least I was able to not see or hear anything when I went to bed, with a head full of Rivotril and Pamelor, at 10 PM. I've locked my door, activated its mechanic safety, which means I've blocked the fucking door with a wooden 2x4. No one can enter, even if they had the key, and my mom does have the spare key. But no one would be able to enter, with my "lock".
I had a pretty decent night's sleep, didn't hear a thing, didn't see a thing, no fireworks and all that bullshit. Fake hugs, oh how I hate 'em.
I know. I know, I know. Mr. Curmudgeon is asleep, now, he's awake wit TP stuck on his ear. And when He woke up, everything was the same, same shit. Except for this thing stuck inside my ear, and I can't retrieve it. It just went too deep inside.
You are a fucking fool, Mr Curmudgeon.
But you know what I really resent about 2014? This fucking drug I'm taking every day, this fucking Parnate. If I ever seen false advertisement, here's a fine example. This shit does NOTHING at all.
It's just like a legalized form of super-cocaine or some shit like that: you take it, you'll feel great, everything is perfect, everything's nice, and feel happy, and confident, feel like you could conquer the world.
Only problem is, this shit is just a long-term cocaine. You'll feel the same rush snorting cocaine, then you'll party and dance, feel confident, and feel just like you are able to conquer the whole wide world.
But at a cost. Cocaine will leave you with a limp dick. And after its effects pass, you'll feel like trash. You'll want to kill yourself. The depression hits hard. That is cocaine.
Same thing happens for this fucking Parnate bullshit, only the so-said positive "feelings" will last for two weeks. And then...well, it's just like you've snorted something around 30 fucking grams of the purest cocaine you'll ever snort. After its effects pass, or rather, your body got used to the thing, the depression hits, back with a vengeance.
Nothing changes, you'll just feel worse and worse. The only difference between thes two drugs is that Parnate is legalized and you can buy them at your drugstore, providing you've got the medical receipt for it. Even the price is similar, one box of Parnate goes around R$ 25, and a cocaine "pin" goes at 30 bucks a pop.
It's the same fucking thing, in the end.
And I'm really considering giving up on that shrink of mine too. It's not working. An old dog can't learn new tricks. I'm un-fixable. She'd recommended a movie for me to watch. I'll do it, today, and then I'll add this significance of such a recommendation on the scale. If she's full of shit, I'll have a glimpse of it, after I watch said movie.
So, hter it is, SSDY. SSDN. SSDD. All of them.
Welcome(or not) to 2015.
