I'm tired.
So fucking tired.
I am.
Tired of this thing,
we call "life"
To me, it means
To be slowly dying.
I'm tired.
Of waiting
for a fucking miracle
that doesn't happen,
seemd to have happened,
but it was all a ruse,
just a fucking, sick ruse
of finding the cure
I am an incurable
and nothing else
would set me free,
thanks Bob Pollard,
for understanding this.
I'm tired, tired, tired,
of being this thing
being this freak
unable to feel
almost nothing
at all.
All I feel is this
shroud of nothingness
surrounding me,
all the time.
I'm tired of this,
tired of that,
tired of life,
as this could
be even
called
life
at all.
I'm ready to move on,
to permanent stillness,
to whatever lies
beyond the flatline.
I'm tired of being sick
and finding no cure,
I've tried, oh I tried,
to find the cure,
and for two fucking
weeks, I thought,
I had find it.
What I found
is that all I've given up
for this so-called "cure"
meant nothing at all.
I'm irascible, irrational,
a pit of fucking despair
a downward spiral
to the very end
of it all.
I can't take this no more,
I don't want to take it anymore,
I must flee, yes I do, and I will.
Because I'm tired.
tired of being
nothing
at all.
Fuck these pills,
all these medications,
gave me an illusion
that I had found the way,
what I found,
is this thing,
these pink fucking pills
that acted like
fake cocaine,
a wild rush, for a time,
and endless depression,
after all.
I got no future,
no credit,
no dough.
I'm not on drugs,
other than these
fucking pills
that only gave me
the fake feeling
of happiness.
Happiness do not exist.
not for me. No,
not for me.
I'm trapped
inside a dead body,
that still moves around,
fakes smiles to get
around all those awful questions,
"But why? You got so much,
are you really willing
to throw it all away?"
Yes.
Because I got nothing.
I am nothing.
less than nothing
a burden, a fucking burden
to everyone else,
a freak, fucking freak
that's what I am,
I get nothing at all,
Talents for fuck-all
talents for shit things
shitty scribbles,
shitty noise,
I am nothing
at all.
So let me complete
the whole equation
let me be
nothing
at all.
