The Lithium Effect.

Again, nope, it ain't nothing about the Nirvana song, "Lithium" - it's just about the bizarre experience I had last night, and I suspect it has something to do with my carbolithium intake. My last blood test results showed they're somewhat below the desired amount it should have been, so the good ol' Doc callem me yesterday, and told me to increase the intake by 300mg, meaning three pills a night. He also ressurem me that my TSH test, which I was worried about, that I was about to develop some hypothyroidism, or some shit like that, he told me not to worry, because the test results weren't so bad after all. Well, he's the doc, he's got the PhD's and shit, so, okay, thank you doc, that was yet another weight off me mind.

Strange thing is...I don't how that many former stoners, potheads to the extrem, like I was. When you smoke that much, one side effect noticeable...is that you don' dream, at night, at all. Or so I've told, you DO, but you just won't remember shit about them dreams...Well, I'm off that forbidden vegetable for about, I dunno, a month or so, And the dreams re-started to be at least, truly remember-able(is there such a word?) So it was all good, because I like to dream, all that crazy shit that comes out of your subconscious world. But it's all just it ever was - you do dream, you remember parts of the dream, and there are times you don't dream at all, you know, just plain uncosciousness.

But yesterday, like the doctor said, I took the extra lithium. And man, I don't know if it REALLY had to do with the increased amount of lithium, but I felt like was...I don't know. I felt like I was dreaming the whole time I was asleep. Long, really long dreams, sometimes macabre, sometimes just boring, like we were kids and our parents were looking for a new place to rent, and weird things would happen in all the places we'd stay. I remember one of them, it was being in my aunt's house, in the night, my father was sitting on a decaying throne, mumbling nonsense, I can't recall none of it, but it had to do with myself, my life....sometimes, through the dreams, I'd just go, "Enough of this shit!" and woke myself up. Have you ever done that - escaped from a dream? Then I'd go to the bathroom, and when I fall asleep, the dream would continue...there was a fucking weird scene, like someone, I just don't really know who he was - he was holding Magneto's(the very same off "X-Men") severed head, but it was cut in the most creepy way, just below the eyes, and he was alive all the time, and the mystery man would show off all the things he'd miss being dead, and those were lame things, like soapoperas, ans shit like that, and Magneto was suffering, you could tell by the look on his eyes, he wanted to "go to sleep", but everytime he tried, a new vision would appear and he'd widened his half-dead eyes...

What the fuck was that? I was fucking glad when the alarm went off and got me out of that sea of weirdness. Will all nights be like that, from now on? I hope not, because I really have fucked dreams. And sometimes it was just me and my siblings fighting over a broken lute or something like that - while the house was all flooded, and no one seemed to care about that. And I believe it was my grandparent's house...

Well, that night was quite tiresome, for my mind. Let's see if tonight it will have the same effect. I hope not, because I need just the emptiness of pure slumber. To rest my already weary mind. You know what I am talking about, right?

Well, we shall see.