Blessed be the inventors of the nicotine patch. Yes, I was right. Those fucking things were dooming me at a speed much faster than to be desired. The coffin nails. Yesterday, I barely had one, just one, now today I'm 50% better, at least. With the sinusitis and body pain. I'm not quite healed yet, as my head still feels like a ringing bell after I do something more intense, that requires more strength.
I think I'll need to take this week off, from working out. Which sucks, because if there's one frustrating thing about working out, is that if you suddenlçy stop doing it for a short while, even as a week, you'll lose strength and resistance. Which fucking sucks, actually.
But it just has to be done. My body is fully rejecting these poisonous sticks. It usually does, everytime I fell off the wagon and start doing it regularly, my own body rejects it. But this time, it took a whole good six months to become unbearable. Before that, it was rather sweet to smoke. I can't help it, I like it, the feeling of puffing smoke.
Now, I won't even get to the middle of a cigarrette without feeling kinda breathless. Yes, it's that bad: it's been giving me something like an asthma attack or heavy bronchitis. And I gotta reach for my inhaler, pronto. And sometimes puff on three times until I'm able to breathe properly again.
Yeah, that's it for me. I'll stick to these patches - I've bought stage 1 & 2 patches already - and just keep away from the cancer sticks. Thankfully, I wasn't that badly hooked on it already, 'cos the patch is doing a fine job to contain the cravings.
Pieces of shit, it's what they are. Again, could someone tell me why the FUCK are these cancerous thingies legal? The same thing goes to alcohol. Society bullshit ways.
Well, that's the best decision I can make at the moment - to let go off these things. I am still coughing like a motherfucker sometimes, I thing it's my lungs starting to clear out some of the dark phlegm.
So, that's it for these evil bastards. No more. No can do. My body won't let me.
It is strange to recall a time where smoking was not only "cool" but even prescribed by doctors as a relaxing tool. "You're too stressed out, start smoking cigarrettes." And there was a time it was so "in" to smoke, you'd be a loser if you didn't. Even my mom tried to smoke, but got sick from it, and never tried again. Her friend, the one who suggested it, became a chain-smoker. Now she's having enormous difficulties to quit it.
Well, I'm off these things. At least for now. Because, you know the saying, Jackie-Boy style saying, "You know it's truee....nobody ever really quits....a smoker's a smoker when the chips are down."
Let's see if I can handle it. The weekend will be the test.
