So it goes.
History repeats
itself,
once again,
in this so-called
life
of mine.
There he goes,
like the song,
in Eddie Vedder's
voice,
there he goes.
We ended, it all,
abrubtly and
hatefully,
we both said
the worst things
to each other,
we both offended
each other,
once friends,
now enemies.
And along,
I've lost
the rest of the
group.
It's all on me,
I know.
It's all my
fault,
because I
am ruled,
always had been,
ruled,
by hate.
Hatred.
There he goes,
forever gone,
leaving me
alone,
with all
my hatred.
So it goes.
So it be.
Funny how
sad it sounds,
now that's over,
how silly
how pathetic.
We never saw
eye to eye,
we never
ever
respected
the fact
that one's sane,
the other's insane.
One stands,
full of might,
full of confidence,
full of life,
The other one
rots.
Reeks.
Weeps.
Not tears of
hatred,
nor tears of joy,
but tears of
sorrow,
because to him,
it's all the same:
he always lose,
he's always lost.
Friends no more
because one
wouldn't bow,
the other wouldn't
bend;
and so it is.
Gone.
Forever gone.
Ouroboros.
My life is
a fucking
ouroboros.
It eats itself
regurgitates
and repeat.
Words, so many
words.
No matter now.
It's all over.
And done.
Forever
And ever.
Don't think
of the other's
opinions.
Don't think
abou anyone
else.
Yes, we never
saw eye to eye,
and i know
he tried
- in vain -
to keep up
with me.
But it's all
fucked up now,
it's all dead
and gone.
Over words.
Yes, I regret it now,
i will regret it later,
I'll always regret
what i could not forgive...
forget...
let it be...
let it fade...
like leaves
in the wind
or water
under the bridge.
Alas, I'm left
alone
once more
alone,
because
I've been
always
commanded
by my feelings
by my hatred
by cowardice
and despair,
o despair,
that always
took hold of me
in the darkest
hours,
in my darkest
moments,
and again,
it prevailed.
It made the end
came, sooner than
expected.
There he goes,
full of his life,
his hapiness,
his certainty
of good
in this fucked up
world.
Well, we don't
agree,
we didn't agree
and it came to this
this end.
There he goes,
and here I stay.
Forward, he goes
Downward, I go.
Always downward.
Always awkward,
Always stupidly
governed by my
hatered, my
negative feelings,
not like him.
Never like him,
so we part ways,
and I'm again
lost, like always,
lost, and gone
to my tower
of regret,
to my chamber
of secrets.
to the place
he'd never reached,
even though
he tried,
with all his might,
and yet
I fucking blew it.
So be it,
so it's my so-
called life,
a vicious cycle
like ouroboros,
repeating
itself,
forever and ever,
I've always been
like this,
fucked up like this,
fucked up
in the head,
even though
he could not
see it,
feel it,
the way I do.
So be it.
Better off
without me.
That's why
I always
push people
away,
because I know,
I've always known
I'm a fucking
disappointment,
a life wasted,
it's enough for
me to keep
everyone
away.
Everyone's
better
away
from
me.
So it goes.
So it is.
I'd say
I'm sorry,
but no one
gets it ,
no one cares.
And they're
right, they're
always right.
I am what I am.
A waste of life,
A waste of time,
A waste.
Simple.
That's all.
There he goes,
forward.
Here I stand,
nowhere.
So it is.
So be it.
Another
regret
to the pile
of regrets.
no news here,
just another
failure.
There he goes,
better off
without me
around
no more.
Forever
and ever.
Forward,
my former
friend.
Forward.
Let bygones
be bygones.
Let the trash rot,
where it belongs.
Don't waste
your precious
time, on something
that's dead
and gone
since...
ever.
