"God is in the rain."
So it's been said.
Well, today, it is
such a rainy day.
And I went outside,
and I looked for...
well, I tried to look for
him, Him, however
you're obliged to say
according to you creed,
your belief.
Your...faith.
Faith.
I had it, once.
Had it. Lost it.
Fought with
the man upstairs,
whatever's concealed
in the rain...in the fog...
on this earth.
So it rains, today.
And it rains, outside.
But it also rains
inside
of me.
Me? What am I?
An ant fighting
the boar,
A single speck,
of dust,
in the universe,
to the universe,
to me.
God is in the rain.
I felt like water's
in the rain.
So does that make
water god, or God
whatever your
creeds are,
your beliefs are,
your life itself,
is.
I see the rain,
see the fog,
feel the cold,
feel the weight
of so many souls,
inside of One,
inside this mess,
that turned out
to be,
me.
I'm yet in this mess,
feeling like hell
on earth,
while I move
my head,
feel my heart...
my heavy,
oh so heavy,
heart.
They say it's a
search for life
itself, for meanings
and bearings,
whereabouts
of your
very own
self.
I searched,
believe me,
I did.
But, alas,
I can only
see the rain,
feel the fog,
feel the cold,
that's still
inside
my very
own
heart.
My very
own
soul.
If I still have one.
I don't know.
not anymore.
I saw the rain,
saw no god,
saw only tears
from the sky...
whom do they
weep to?
Maybe it's for me.
the one who's still
cold, and still -
I still -
feel
like this.
A speck of dust,
lost in the universe,
watching the rain
falls, and expecting
for a sign...anything...
that would make me
feel like ME again.
Not this.
Never this.
No, I don't
want it-
I don't need it,
I never did.
But I feel, uncertain
of precisely what
I feel altogether,
I feel, this thing,
calling to me,
saying my name,
trying to reach me.
Is it god? Who is
in the rain?
Is it someone else,
is it the devil himself,
the thing most
dread the most,
yet answers to
its call...from time
to time,
a lot of times.
Too much,
for me.
I see the rain.
Felt its wetness,
felt its coldness,
but saw no gain.
No voices,
calling to
me.
Just the rain.
Just tears from
the sky.
Sometimes I feel
like they weep for
me, the so-called
"lost lamb" in the
universe of Catholics,
In my universe,
I'm still lost.
I'm still looking
at the rain...
and thinking
about nothing
else than a
movie quote.
