Oh, look who's here
who's back
the Monster's back
the dreadful monster
Where have you been,
you must all ask
I've been dying
living three years of sedated fake peace
the wrong shrink
the wrong life
lead me to those pills
pills that calmed me
made me silent
I'm not taking them anymore
so I'm back, even for a brief moment
to tell all that will read this shit
that I'm alive
yet dead inside
the Monster's alive
and kicking
wishing death
everyday
wishing peace
but there isn't any
anywhere
nowhere
not in the grass I smoke
not in the fags I inhale
not in the coffee I drink
nowhere
I came here everyday
just to die a little more
I was a silent corpse while on the pills
now I'm an awaken nuisance
I won't shut up about
how everything sucks
how miserable a life could get
seems to be the challenge here
the Monster lied to you all
deceived you all
but couldn't deceive himself
locked up in my private nut house
I go deeper into madness
or sadness
of being this
being a Monster.
Who let everyone down
lets everyone down
a pile of human waste
drugged motherfucker
useless garbage
who isn't even a man to begin with
I let everyone down
including myself
I awake wishing I was dead
everyday
today
I got here
to my personal hell
monster in disguise
useless employee
I had friends, now gone
to everyone's their own lives
full of prosperity and achievements
I've achieved nothing
than to remain alive and silent
during all these terrible years
Monster
Waste
A pile of lies.
Some people appear, they offer me support
I let them down too
I've had a brother
I've let him down the most I believe
no longer brothers I think
because I'm a fucking monster
I had friends everywhere
they're all gone
I'm all alone
and going crazy
everyday I fear I might lose it for good
everyday I struggle to restrain myself
from going berserk
I can't do that
I'm not allowed to do that
anxieties, they got to be puffed away
in a cloud of toxic smoke
that emits from my lungs
my ashtrays inside
keep your head down
do as you're told
I let everyone down
even myself
I can't create a single thing anymore
I can't draw a single line
withou hearing the voice of Eternal Failure inside
Monster
go away
go pester someone else
go find your place
I can't
I can't find my place nowhere
no peace nowhere
only in drugged hazes
only on the colorful distortions of the acid
Yes, I've dropped acid
it was heaven in a piece of paper
Somehow it got me the peace I've always sought
but it was gone
as soon as the effect wore out
I'm back to the gray world
of my inexistance
of my being a Monster won't matter
if I just keep it secret
if I just go on lying
maybe it's for the best
maybe I should go back to the damn pills
sedated
still a Monster, but rendered harmless
silent
dying alone.
